The Moss Covered Path...

Hanging Head, In Shame....

2012-02-04T13:49:00.001-06:00

I have no exuses. I've just taken a really long break from blogging and I'm sorry. I've started back to school this semester. I'm taking 8 hours right now but will take 3 more hours at the end of the semester. This is my capstone semester and I'm having a lot of fun so far. I've chosen my classroom for my work study and I've chosen my target child in that classroom that I will focus on maintaining a portfolio for.

I have a co-teaching student with me and we have already chosen our project topic. I am so, so, so excited about this! We are using the book Weslandia....such a great book for this age (3rd grade). I read it this week and they loved it.

Now we are exploring what it would be like to create our own society...they are extremeley interested in the politics and the jobs that go into creating a society. I can't wait to see where all it takes us.

Life at home is good. Little Lexi is growing like a weed. Skylar is gorgeous and Clark is just as crazy as always. Hope life is treating you well and I promise I will start back up to blogging! :)

Linking Up.....

2011-08-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

I linked up my Batik Project over at Running With Glitter today! I love this blog and I was super excited to find out she's a local gal to me! Go check out her page and link up a project of your own!

Art, Art and more Art....

2011-08-27T20:48:00.000-05:00

So, my kiddos and I have been working diligently on a project or two around the house! And I am excited that now I can post a pic of one that is finished.

And it turned out AMAZING! It was so much fun and I love that we honestly worked on it for like five days! And we had all the materials on hand already so it cost nothing, but even if you bought stuff it wouldn't be that expensive.

We did a Batik on a sheet. We are going to hang the sheet from a line between two trees to be the backdrop for our outdoor stage. I have to do some rearranging of the area before I take pics of that part though. So, here in a serious of pictures is what we did...

Skylar adding Glue.

You need to make sure you use the Gel Glue...

Clark adding glue...this was also a good motor activity to help him strengthen his hand muscles.

This is our sheet after we have added the glue...

We let this dry over night....then the next three nights we added watered down acrylic paint. I just took all the bottles that I had from other projects (which was alot) and poured them in cups and added water....mixing until they were very runny like water. Then we just went out and poured them on. We only did 3 or four colors a night so that we could see how they ran and dried. Then the next night we would know where we had white spots.

This is what it looked like after all the nights of adding paint!

The next step after all the paint was dry was putting through the washer with HOT water. That will dissolve all the glue and leave those spots fresh and white! It looks awesome, but I want to show it to you in it's full glory. So tomorrow when I get it hung up I will take more pics and show you!

Hanging head in shame...

2011-08-25T23:21:00.000-05:00

I am the worst blogger evah! I am so sorry! I can't believe it's been so long since I posted. I can't even blame school or anything. I've just been unable to think of things that I think are worthy of blogging about. Does anyone else ever have that problem?

School has started back up here. I have one in her last year of middle school and I have one that is starting pre-k in one short week.

Maybe that is what has me so frazzled. Or maybe it's the fact that for the first time in I don't know how long, I am not taking any classes this semester. I find myself not knowing what to do at night because I was so used to reading, studying, andoing homework.

Me and the littles have had a cold this week and the poor baby can't take anything because she is so young. So she is the worst of all of us, poor poor baby!

So, I am sorry that I've been missing from blogland and I promise to try to be better! Hope you have a great Friday!

On the Eve....

2011-08-10T21:54:00.000-05:00

This is it. The night before the first day of school for the oldest little. My first born will start the 8th grade tomorrow.

It will be the first time EVER that I have not driven her to her first day. She wants to be big and cool and ride the bus with her new cousin that just joined our family through a wonderful marriage.

I can't deny her that right though. The right to spread her wings and fly. We went to meet the teacher night tonight. Then we had dinner just the two of us. We talked about grown up things and childish things.

We asked each other random "slumber party" questions. Like, if you had to eat something every day for the rest of your life what would it be.

What would yours be?

And we talked about boys, hair, clothes...all that good stuff. Stuff I only get to talk about with my oldest.

I appreciate this little moment of time we had. I love having all my kiddos together at one time and watching them play. But...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

I love having time with each of them seperately too!

So good luck tomorrow big 8th grader! I love you and I know you'll be amazing!

State of flux....

2011-08-07T21:40:00.000-05:00

Here's a question for ya'. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it?

Am I the only person out here that wants to be so many things that it's hard to contemplate doing just one of them?

When I was little I wanted to be a mommy. Other things would come and go, but always I wanted to be a mommy. I would be damn good at it. I knew.

I am a mommy and I am good at it. Of course, I make my fair share of mistakes. I falter, I forget things, I snap sometimes at them for little things. But all in all, at the end of every day I think I can truly say that I focused on letting my kids just be kids. I don't care about my house looking perfect and clean (much to my hubs dismay). I don't care about having grand parties and being the home room mom. I just want my kids to go to bed each night knowing a)they are loved and b)they got to be themselves. I am confident in this! I am Mommy!

Work, not so much...I'm in a state of flux.

I've worked a lot of jobs since my first one. It used to be a family joke that I was trying to see just how many W2's I could take with me at tax time. But I've always come back to working with kids. So finally it only made sense that I should go back to school to get a degree. I love working with kids. I love being around them, witnessing their ideas and watching them form their ideas about the world. I have been going to school while working full time for the last 7 years. That's a lot of time and energy and I don't regret one minute of it. Even though it has taken me away from children and I have carried so much guilt about that. I have always known that it was getting me closer to my ultimate goal. When I had Lexi 9 months ago, I was so unprepared for the depression that hit me. And I know that I was exhausted and full of new mommy hormones. But I also knew that what I was doing was taking time away from my baby and other littles. Even though I was lucky enough to get to take her to school with me many times, I was just being pulled in too many directions. I was reluctant but sure that I needed to take a break and slow down. So, I dropped some classes and extended my time in school. It will now be another year before I graduate and student teach.

I should be getting ready to step into a classroom this school year. Nervous and giddy with all the energy of a new teacher. But I'm not. I get to hear about all my school friends and their new classes and the teachers they are working with. I will be absolutely ecstatic for them. I still know that it was the right thing to do. For my sanity, for my health, for my children. But, I don't know if it was right for my heart. I don't know if it is still the depression that creeps in. Or if the break has given me too much time to think now. I don't know what is wrong exactly.

I just feel so scared that I've devoted seven (now 8) years of my life to something and when I get to the end of the tunnel....what if I suck at it? What if I can't get a job? What if it isn't everything that I thought it would be?

And then I get mad at myself. Because I never used to be the kind that questioned myself like that. I'm an only child so I tend to think if I want something I will get it. But, I'm being honest here, right. I'm scared. I'm sad. I think I'm a little lost.

Sorry for the bummer post!

Button Love....

2011-08-05T20:59:00.000-05:00

I want to win this headband so badly! I just love it! And I love this blog...go check it out...but DON'T try to win the headband please!

http://delirious-rhapsody.blogspot.com/2011/08/hey-lady-nice-button.html

We're Having A Heatwave....

2011-08-02T21:48:00.000-05:00

A tropical heat wave. Oh, wait. This isn't so tropical. I would actually welcome a tropical heat wave at this point. At least there would be some breeze coming off the ocean, right?

My mind is kind of melted right now so I warn you that this post will be full of random thoughts and mommy nonsense.

For instance, I have a car that has seen better days. It has no air conditioning right now and getting the A/C charged only last a day. I also have black leather seats. And the two back windows don't roll down.

This basically means that my children don't go anywhere with me except the baby because she is little and can't (yet) refuse to get in the car with me.

It also means that on our 15 minute drive home today in the 110 degree heat of our town...I worried that she might have become unconscious due to the heat because she was quiet...so I did what any good mommy would do and said her name a little too loudly...I scared the crap out of her. I saw her poor feet jump. That was just wrong of me.

This crazy ass heat also means that people are using up water like freaking crazy and let's be honest...some of them are using it to water their lawns. Ridiculous! Seriously, utterly, ridiculous! It's over 100 degrees and it has been for weeks....who gives a shit about your lawns!!!! I don't have water every night for atleast four hours while I try to cook dinner and do dishes and heaven for bid try to bathe my children...so I'll be damned if I care about your lawn growing!

Ok, thanks for letting me rant and rave. I could go on and on about some other things as well, but I think we've all had enough for one night!

Here is a really funny picture to remind us all that sometimes when your older children pick on your baby...it can be really, really, funny!

Deep Thoughts...

2011-07-31T01:55:00.001-05:00

I used to be really good at locking away my feelings about things and pretending they didn't bother me.

I once spent years in a marriage where I lost everything I ever knew and loved about myself.

I had to rebuild the person I thought I was. I had been shattered, betrayed, broken to the very core.

So I did it. I hit rock bottom. I went through things that people shouldn't have to go through. Only the love of my family and friends got me through it.

And I grew, I came out of my cocoon a new and better butterfly. Determined that I wouldn't settle, I wouldn't hold things in, I wouldn't let anyone other than me define me, make me or break me.

I went on with life and grew my family through another marriage and more littles. I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. I made plans to get where I wanted to go for a change.

And after time, it just got easier to hold things in a little. And then alot.

And then I had a breakdown. Granted it was a hormonally induced made worse by complete exhaustion breakdown. But I hid it so well for so long that even the person who is supposed to know me better than anyone...didn't know. I had slipped back into that woman that thinks it is easier to just keep everyone else happy and quiet. Despite how she might be hurting. How does that happen? What was I afraid of?

Am I willing to be broken again? Could I rebuild myself again? I've had to do some surface repairing, but what about another overall rehaul? I don't think I can.

So, I mustered up all the courage I had tonight and spoke my mind. Said my peace. Rocked the boat.

Will it make any difference? Honestly, probably not. That's how it got this bad in the first place. Remember, that first time I rebuilt myself I was open and honest and spoke my mind...but it never made a difference. Things didn't change because of what I said or how I felt. So that's when it became easier to stay silent.

So that's where I am right now...the crossroads. Stand still and get hit by a truck. Or cross over and walk into the empty desert.

I am a Woman?

2011-07-29T00:06:00.000-05:00

You heard me right.

I know many of you will relate to this post.

I am a mother. I work full time. I am currently on a break from school, but I usually take anywhere between 11 and 18 hours a semester.

I'm a little busy, to say the least. And honestly I'm not always a froo-froo girl. I don't wear make-up unless it's a special occassion and my hair spends alot of time in a ponytail.

So imagine my surprise when I went to get my hair done tonight. You see, my uncle is getting married this weekend and it's kind of a big deal. So we all got new do's. I came out of the chair looking like a woman! And a hot one if I dare say so myself.

Sometimes it's nice to stop in the middle of all the crazy and be reminded that you're a woman. And perhaps you still have some of your groove after all.

Linking up today for Happiness Is over at Rub Some Dirt On It

A Review...

2011-07-27T18:23:00.000-05:00

So what do you think about my new design?

I love it...

It is very me and my header now has all three of my littles on it.

So, who did it? The Amazing Grace! That's really her name.

She is the sweet little owner of Gracely Designs.

She listened to me about what I wanted and asked questions when needed. She took free range of the project with what I asked for and I think she did an amazing job! And she was so professional and nice.

And it wasn't until halfway through the project, when I realized that she is young...like my daughter young! That made me so much more impressed with her. I was astounded at her level of professionalism and her desire to run a business.

It also lead me to think alot about my daughter and what she could accomplish if I was brave enough to set her out into the world with her own little business venture.

So, please help Grace build her business and stop by to see what she is capable of. I have been very happy with the whole interaction.

Thanks, Grace for a job well done!

Lea

Outdoor Extravaganza...

2011-07-23T20:24:00.000-05:00

I am so excited about the plans that I have for a certain area I have outside in my yard.

It's a little shady and tucked in so it always makes me think "fort". I am going to put in a little playhut, a mud kitchen and hopefully some music/art aspect.

Here are some pictures to get you thinking about it...

So, what do you think? Does it scream "fort" to you? Can you envision other things there? What would you do if it was your yard? I really want it to be open ended and child created. Once I set it up, I want to be able to sit back and just watch their little minds run away from them.

Rock Star...

2011-07-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

I think my son may think he is a Rock Star. Well, I'm not really sure what he thinks but I know that at some point in the middle of the night he thought to get out of bed and just pass out in the middle of the hallway. So, like the good mother that I am, I took a picture and left him there. Trust me, if I had moved him he would have been awake for good.

And I am linking up this morning with Katie over at Loves of Life for her Saturday Morning Scene.

Happy Saturday!!!
~Lea

Winner, Winner, Winner...

2011-07-21T16:07:00.000-05:00

I know, obnoxious, right?

But it's true. I actually won something...the bragging rights!

I am flattered that Rachel over @ and then,she snapped chose one of my pics as one of her favorites for last weeks Show Off Your Shot.

Thanks, Rachel!

To Etsy or Not To Etsy...

2011-07-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

That is the question!

I love Etsy. I love knowing that I could create things that others might possibly want to buy. I love the creativenes, the searching, the finding. All of that.

Do I love it enough to spread my wings and jump off the bridge?

Where on earth would I find the time?

Would it be worth it?

Could I ever make enough money to warrant the time and attention I would have to put into it?

So many questions! I am thinking about opening an Etsy shop and I am so unsure!

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

That is all. Goodbye.

Growing up...

2011-07-16T12:16:00.000-05:00

Lexi is 9 months old now. She is amazingly good natured and she is my silent watcher.

She has just learned to pull herself up and uses this new skill quite often when she wants something (like her sister, mother, brother, father, or remote) on the couch!

So this is how we spend most of our Saturday mornings around here. Just laying around playing with the baby. Watching her discover the world and gain all her new little skills. In my mind, I say prayer after prayer and every magic word I can think of to just keep her little.

I am linking up today at Loves of Life for her Saturday Morning Scene! Go check it out!

Baby/Dog-What's the Difference...

2011-07-15T14:00:00.000-05:00

I am a little sleep deprived today. We've got a sick baby in the house. She woke up @ 4 in the morning crying with a dirty diaper. I could hear her little tummy gurgling. I had only been asleep for about 2 hours because she took her bottle late and had a dirty diaper. Then her daddy let her see him and she wanted some snuggle time with him. Ok, I am pulling a Pulp Fiction and skipping around too much. So this morning at 4 I get her changed and make her a bottle, put her back to bed and she proceeds to chatter and roll around and scoot and nestle and giggle (I mean, really what is so funny in the dark?). So an hour and a half later I am falling back to sleep. Just in time for boy wonder to run in and try to awaken his father. But of course my husband sleeps like the dead and doesn't hear a darn thing through any of this....

He does finally stumble into the living room to turn on cartoons for the boy. 30 minutes later, asleep again, I hear "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" so I am trying to get the husband to get up again before the boy actually wakes up the baby. No such luck! So it's 7 I've had no sleep and I have two very awake children and 1 snoozing husband. Yay Me!

I get all the kids out to the living room so that Sleeping Beauty can get his sleep (lucky him). I make a little ~~prison~~ coral for the little lass so she won't roam around the house. I do this using EVERY SINGLE COUCH PILLOW! Throw some toys on the floor and plop down on the couch. (I know I just lost my Mommy Award). I am ok with it.

A little later after I had ~~dozed off~~ looked away for a minute I see her playing happily on the floor surrounded by mountains of couch pillows, chewing on a toy. And I think to myself "It's like I have a dog". I mean, follow me here...you put 'em in a fence and throw 'em something to chew on and they are both completely happy.

I start to think of others ways they are like dogs. I start a little Top Ten list in my head.

10. They both wag something when they see you coming. For little lass it's her arms. She just gets so excited and starts waving her arms around like windmills.

9. They both whine and stay up all night when you first bring them home.

8. It takes patience and dedication to potty train them.

7. Sometimes, that potty training lends itself to little "accidents".

6. They start out needing us a lot and then move to needing us less and less.

5. They like to play fetch. Except babies like to be the one throwing the object.

4. They chew on things.

3. They like to sleep in your bed.

2. They can always find the one teeny tiny speck of trash/food/dirt on the floor.

1. And the number one way babies are like dogs....You can't help but love 'em!

Here's a pic of little Lexi at the Dr. this morning totally rockin' the jean skirt look! She's just the happiest little baby, even when she doesn't feel good.

You can find me linked up here today for Bee Friendly Friday!

What It Means To Me....

2011-07-14T23:11:00.000-05:00

The smell of rain in the air...

The feel of the garden dirt between my toes...

Mud squishing between my fingers...

The feel of the fish nibbling on my legs...

The looooong ride in the car to get somewhere...

Lightening bugs...

Roly poly's...(you know they are quite hard to get out of a small nostril)

Homemade ice cream made in the garage...

What does it mean to me? It means summer. It means parents and grandparents and cousins. The Lake. The 4th of July.

It means memories. Childhood.

You see my summers were filled with all these wonderful things. My swimming pool was the huge ditch in front of my grandma's house after a good rain storm. My desserts were peach cobbler and ice cream or fresh fruit right from the tree. If I wanted fried green tomatoes (which, trust me, I did) I would go pick 'em myself.

I miss those days. My heart aches for them. I want to savor every memory and somehow find a way to make my children see how glorious it was to be raised by this wonderful family.

I want to help them make their own memories. I yearn for them to understand that childhood is fleeting and it never returns. I want them to L.I.V.E. in a simpler time and really grow to appreciate it.

But I struggle to find that. I have to work. I have to finish school. I simply can't do everything I want to do and it breaks my heart sometimes. Not in half. Not even a crack I suppose. Just a chip here and there.

So on nights like tonight. When a dreadfully hot day finally starts coming to a painted Oklahoma sky ending. I cherish that I have time with just one kid. To make a lasting memory. And I take out my craft kit and glue a chip of my heart back on.

This is happiness to me. Pure. Momma. Old School. Happiness!

Taking my son to a place I used to go when I was a kid...

This is The Blue Whale...look him up on Facebook! He's a Route 66 Historic Attraction deep in the heart of Catoosa Oklahoma! I have very vivid memories of playing and swimming here as a child. Jumping off his tail and sliding down his side. Pure Joy! Now he's a little beat up. His waters are low and dirty. People throw trash in his park. And that too makes my heart hurt. But bringing Clark here for the first time and watching him take his first hesitant steps into the mouth of the whale. Simply.Sublime.

I sigh with contentment.

I ~~bribe~~ ask him to take just one picture with me. But no amount of ~~money~~ mothers pleading will get a smile out of him. How dare I ~~wrestle~~ gently hold him when he itches to run barefooted through the sand.

And then one self portrait that leaves me wondering if perhaps I can dig through boxes and find one like this of me as a girl here.

A reminder that time won't stop for us. I must be purposeful. I must slow down. I must make memories with them. A sticky, artistic reminder that this moment was PURE and SIMPLE and TIMELESS!

I am linking up today with Becky at Rub Some Dirt On It for this cool hop! Check it out! And let me know what childhood love you've shared or want to share with your kiddos!

LIfe, or Something Like It....

2011-07-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Life is hairy round these here parts. But it's good. So I guess it would be like the best hair you could imagine. Like Penelope Cruz hair. Jennifer Aniston hair. Or better yet, Matthew McConaughey hair.

Summer is just like that ya' know. Crazy busy, but a relaxed kind of busy. I know, I know I'm not making any sense. I'm ok with that. And to make it all the more hairy...my internet only works when it wants to...I have a theory that the hot temperatures are making it lazy.

We've got swim lessons for the boy wonder! He's doing pretty good. We've had 100+ degrees like EVERY. FREAKING. DAY. FOREVER.

Hot! The littlest lass has a diaper rash from hell. And I just spent $45 on butt cream cuz the insurance wouldn't cover the Rx. But, sore butts in the house just won't do.

I've got exciting things happening at work. I am responsible for the training and professional development at work, so I always look forward to doing new classes and workshops. This year, I've got a special kind of awesomeness brewing up in my mind for it!

AND I am excited that thanks to the suggestion of Becky over at Rub Some Dirt On It I am starting my very own Cocktails and Crafts club. We are having our first craft night on August 6th. I am hosting and I am so excited about the craft we are doing. But I can't spill the beans yet!

So just to tide you over, here are some random pics of my littles and maybe myself!

How is your summer going so far?

Aw Sweet....

2011-07-09T12:19:00.000-05:00

You know how there are those certain mommy times when you wonder what you were thinking by having more than one? It's ok, you can admit it. They're fighting, there is screaming, none of them are asleep, you cooked dinner and none of them ate it, you look in your rear view mirrow and you see three bodies crammed in the back because your third was a surprise and you can't afford a bigger car....

I think there will always be those moments. But then you have moments when you overhear conversations like this one that I overheard this morning...

Clark "I really want that game but my birthday is so far away."
Skylar "Hey you know what, I can ask for it for my birthday and if I get it we can share it."

And then your mommy heart fills full up with love and emotion. Sometimes they really do like each other and get along. And when they are grown they really might remember growing up and being happy that they had a brother or sister.

To me, that makes it all worth it!

And it's nearly impossible to get all of them smiling, looking at the camera and not making a silly face in pictures...

Linking up today with Loves of Life for her Saturday Morning Scene. Check her blog out, it is great!

Crack in the house...

2011-07-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

Do you ever look at your kids and wonder....do I have Crack somewhere in the house that I don't know about it? Did my children find said Crack and partake in it?

Actually, with a mother that let's thing like this happen...

Then why would I be surprised that my kids are a little on the crazy side?

And you know what?

I wouldn't have it any other way!

Love, Love, Love...

2011-07-02T20:09:00.000-05:00

This is one of my all time favorite weekends. The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays. I love everything about it. People are just in a good mood and nicer to each other this weekend. The pace of life has slowed down and when you live in a neighborhood (outside city limits) like mine...you get to fall asleep nightly for a good two weeks listening to fireworks! I love having to go somewhere and coming home late at night...then getting to see a surprise fireworks show on my drive. I love watching the faces of my children when they watch them. I love the food! Burgers and hotdogs, watermelon and strawberries, corn on the cob, oh my! So my day today has been full of cleaning my house for the Annual Extravaganza we have! It's going really s-l-o-w with a four year old and a baby in the house. But we are also doing a really deep cleaning. It took us 3 hours this morning to steam, scrub, steam, scrub, steam and then scrub some more on our stove top. But, it looks like we just moved in to the house! So I think it is worth it.

I'm linking up for the Say Hi Sunday Hop and will hopefully have some pictures to share tomorrow of some of our crafts and decorations for the party!
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Have a great Independence Day!

Linked Up for Happiness Is...

2011-06-30T15:34:00.000-05:00

Linked up today for Happiness Is.... I loved her post about the Red Sox. It reminded me of the movie with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore! Fever Pitch! I love that movie. When her and her father are watching the news and they show Jimmy going crazy at Red Sox Spring Training and her dad is like "what a nut job". Ha Ha!

Anywho...go check it out and find yourself some new blogs to follow!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

2011-06-29T20:24:00.001-05:00

Things are changing up in here. And I L.O.V.E. it! I am in need of some change.

Nothing major mind you.

Some new arrangements. Some new colors.

What's a girl on a strict budget to do?

Time to get creative...

How about new window treatments?

These are actually hand towels that the hubs grandma hand embroiders for us every Christmas. I just can't bring myself to use them as hand towels though. So with the sewing help of my mother in law and a nifty idea from this lady
www.flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com I was set to go.
It was her napkins on those cute little clips that inspired my idea. The designs on them are lighthouses, which I love.

Next, I was inspired during a trip to Hobby Lobby to spend a birthday gift card. In the clearance isle I found an empty picture frame-no back or nuffin. For F.I.V.E bucks! I've been looking for awhile now for the perfect cross to hang in my house and I still haven't found the ONE. I was hoping to find a cross that I could hang inside the picture frame. But alas, I still didn't find one. That is when I thought of my entryway and how much I loathe it. So, I got the frame and bought a wooden letter "N". I knew I would have the perfect paper at home to cover the letter and I am going to place that N inside the frame. So, I moved out what was in there and changed it all around. I added the picture frames I have of all my kids that spell out their names in funky, cool ways and I have to say....It's my new favorite thing in my house! Check out the before/after...

Oh, I do love it so!

Next, the hallway which I need to re-do because I took two of the frames off that wall to move them to the entrance. I still want a wall of photos so now I just need to add some photos!

Right now it looks like this, minus those two long black frames...

I have some big plans for some other rooms too, but they will have to wait! What's going on around your house?

Overwhelmed...

2011-06-25T16:30:00.000-05:00

Wow! Have you ever had so much stuff happen in one week that you didn't even know where to start? Yep, that's me this week.

Of course, I didn't know it was going to be this way. I would have prepared myself.

Again, I don't even know where to start. So I will have to resort to just touching on some major important moments. And I hope I remember them all.

But, I did have a birthday right smack dab in the middle of the week...so we'll see.

First, we thought we had a broken toe/foot up in here...

Yes, this is the teen's toe. She was playing around at camp (where she is a helper) and kicked a freezer. A doctors appointment and an x-ray later, we found out it was just a really bad sprain. Even the doctor was surprised it wasn't broken.

Then we headed out to a local "family event" in the big town next to ours and met up with some pretty cool peeps (the grandparents) and this guy...

We spent about four hours there and 95% of that time was spent in the inflatable area. But hey, for $5 bucks of air conditioned fun...I was in.

The next day we celebrated Father's Day. Lexi got to eat her first bites of "forbidden food". She had some dessert. Round these parts we call it "Better than Sex" but other families have other names for it. She loved it...as witnessed below.

So we had a few days of work and then Wednesday was my birthday. I turned 29, again. I went to lunch with my dad and step-mom. I had Chicken Marsala which is one of my very favorite foods. And they gave me several things, including this...

Yep, it's a window. With pics of me, the hubs, each of our kids, and one of all three of them. I heart it so much! Then the family and I went swimming. It was a good night.

The highlight of my week was definately this moment...

I know there is so much I am missing, but it'll be alright. I've got BIG things going on in this house o' mine. Some crafty dafty home projects that I am super excited about. AND, I finally got on Pinterest, but I haven't been able to play around much on it yet. Can't wait to do that!

And I realize that some of my pictures are sideways...they aren't that way on my computer, so I am not sure why they are posting that way. Annoying...anyone have any thoughts?

See ya'! Hope you have a great week!

So Excited...

2011-06-17T11:19:00.000-05:00

It's Friday!!!!

Yay!!!!

I am so excited! I do love Friday...it leads to Saturday! This weekend I have plans, plans, plans. But, I am sure I will also find time to spend some much needed snuggle time with all my babes!

And I might even run into that handsome man of mine somewhere...

Saturday Fun...Picture Style...

2011-06-12T13:34:00.000-05:00

First, I need to say that last Saturday when I did my Saturday Morning Scene-I was linking up with Loves of Life for her Saturday Morning Scene. I am so sorry that I forgot to add that. I love her blog and if you don't already follow her, you should! You must! She is awesome and her baby is gorgeousness defined!!!

Ok, so this week my Saturday was way too full to do one picture so I must bombard you with picturedom! Hope you don't mind!

The kids and I started our day by going to lunch with my mom. There is a cool restaurant a couple of towns away that features Trains. When I say trains, I mean they actually have 10 trains that go around tracks on the walls and hanging from the ceiling. This is Clark in front of the entance.

Now, you never know what you are gonna get when you take Clark somewhere. He might love it (the way you think he will)...or he might be really grumpy and not be as into as you wanted him to be. Well, lucky for us...he was totally into the trains. He kept physically pushes my head towards the train when it came around so I would see it. I will say that Lexi also really enjoyed watching them. There was one that would come right by our table, towards the ceiling and she had a perfect view. She followed it as far as she could every time it came around.

It is a really neat restaurant and I would love to go back. They have a wide variety of food (I got fried green tomatoes, which I love and can never find). And Lexi got to eat her first french fries...it was love at first bite!

Then we came home and my cousin and her wonderful family came over to help us set up our swimming pool. We are so excited about the possibility of getting to swim at home this summer. We just have to do a few more things to get it ready.

Then we got to meet the Daddy at a friends house for a cook out and swimming party at his house. We had fun and here is a little picturama to show the fun we had!

I hope you all had a great Saturday too!

Friday Confessions...

2011-06-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Usually I try to make my Friday Confessions a mix of funny and crazy things I have done throughout the week. Just to help everyone feel better by hearing that I too, do these insane things. But this week, well today in particular, I have a very heavy heart. My mind is cloudy and pictures of what I want to say are coming through as if they were in a crystal ball. Not quite clear enough to help me form the words I want to say.

So here it is, my confession in all it's fuzzy glory-

I AM NOT PERFECT!

Shocking, right? But then again, I never claimed that I was perfect. So why did I spend more minutes than acceptable in my office crying today over the opinion, and I do mean opinion, of someone I don't even know? Why did I allow the words spoken to affect me so? Why did that person have to be so mean? Why couldn't they accept what I was saying and know my sincerity? Why couldn't that person understand that I had a moment of weakness and I have said my peace with the person that it directly affected?

And better yet. Why is it considered acceptable for people that don't even know me to group me into a category that I don't go in. Just because they think they know me. Just because there is a surface knowledge. There is no way they can know what events have made me who I am. I don't assume to know who they are. I just don't understand why people today want to create more drama than there already is in the world.

The simple fact of the matter is: I did the best I could. That's all anyone can ask of me or anyone for that matter. The best I could. And then I apologized that my best wasn't perfect, it wasn't good enough. I said sorry. Before even confronted....so why now does it need to be dredged up again?

What I didn't say was that I could say the same about you, person. That I too have "heard" things. I too, have an opinion even though I don't know you. But, I didn't call you and express my opinion of you. I didn't call and ruin your day. I didn't make you feel worthless for doing your best and it not being good enough. And I didn't cross the line into someone else's business that wasn't even my own. I didn't make idle threats and tell you how you should have handled things. But, if I had, I would have accepted your damn apology.

The End.

Things I can't stand...

2011-06-05T12:57:00.000-05:00

Homework on a gorgeous weekend-

Blogger-

People that think there children are trophies-

Blogger-

Having no air conditioning in my car during the summer-

Blogger-

Teeth, as in the kind that take forever to come into a sweet precious mouth and leave a wake of pain in the background-

Blogger-

This whole post was really just a way for me to rant about Blogger! There is so much I have been reading on other blogs this weekend that I want to reply to and Blogger isn't letting me reply! I hate Blogger when it does this crap!

The End...

Saturday Morning Scene....

2011-06-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

This was my Saturday Morning...as I tried to catch a snooze on the couch...this little man found a whisk.

Clark: "Mommy I want to bake something"
Me: "Ok, what"
Clark: "I'm just gonna go find my secret ingredients"
Me: "Ok"
(insert random crashing around in the kitchen)
Me: "What exactly is it you are needing?"
Clark: "Oh, here's my secret ingredient"
(holds up mini marshmallows)
Me: "Ok, lets pour them in a bowl"
Clark: "Ok lets pour my secret ingredient in a bowl"
(at this time I am mentally starting to count the number of times he says "secret ingredient")
Clark: "My next secret ingredient is um (insert tapping finger on forehead) um, um, milk"
Me: "Great, I'll pour some in this cup and you can pour it in your bowl"
Clark: "Good idea"
I pour milk in cup, he pours milk in bowl and proceeds to whisk...I think we are done...I am wrong!
Clark: "My next secret ingredient is um, um, um..."
Me: "How about some chocolate chips?"
Clark: "Oh yes, chocolate chips, that is definately my secret ingredient"
Me: "Um, ok glad I could help"
Add chocolate chips to the mix and done...right? Nope...
Clark: "My next secret ingredient is tea" (notice he had to think about that-none)
Me: "Really?"
Clark: "Yup"
I give him some tea...he pours it into mix and starts whisking away...I snap some photos...he then proceeds to try and get me to eat it.
Clark: "Take a bite"
Me: "You take a bite"
Clark: "Try my secret ingredient"
Me: "Go get your sister to try it"

And Ladies and Gentlemen...your next Iron Chef is....Clark!

Teacher Time...

2011-05-30T00:10:00.000-05:00

So, this is one of those rare post when I give away my true daytime identity. You may remember that I wish I was a stay at home mom, but I'm not....

Instead, I work full time and go to school. I have taught children for many years in many different settings and I finally got the perfect opportunity to go back to school and obtain my Bachelors and Certification. Finally, when I am finished I can get paid a respectable salary to do what I love. And I have loved learning even more about children and teaching and all the ways I want to put my thoughts, ideas and beliefs into practice.

So this week I was super excited to go to a training event on Math and Science Activities. I also teach adults through my job and a local trade school so I am always happy to get more ideas for that as well.

It was a really good day of training and I wanted to share some of the things with you.

Start to finish style....

My FREE breakfast! By far, the best breakfast I have ever been given at a conference or training event! YUM.

The first part of the day was spent on Math and I liked the way we focused on showing how math is constantly around us. This is one of the graphing activities that we did...with M&M's. Now as a mommy...I don't break out a graphing paper each time I want my kids to graph something, but I do ask questions that get them to think about it. Just the other night Clark was eating M&M's and we grouped them together by color. He didn't even realize we were doing math...he doesn't even know what that words means. But, at four years old he can count items, group and sort. He knows one to one correspondence and he hasn't just "memorized" the numbers for rote counting. So at home this would be a good activity and it can be done during almost any meal. It's called scoop and graph. So say you are having cereal one morning...let your child scoop out some cereal and then graph it. How many marshmallows versus cereal? How many raisins verses cereal? How many green clovers, yellow moons, pink hearts and orange stars? See, instant math and they don't even know it. Point out math at lunch by asking math questions...do you want your sandwich cut in half or left whole? Do you want it cut into rectangles or triangles? Then discuss what makes that shape what it is...

Another idea she gave us that I am certainly going to use because it is cheap and easy....placemats! That's right, those cheapo plastic placemats at the dollar store and Walmart....you can do so much with them. She showed us how she cuts them up into easy puzzles for the kids and cuts them into sorting games. As soon as I make one for Clark, I will post the photos.

She showed us alot of other cool stuff...I took exactly 16 pages of notes on top of her powerpoint notes...Then we had LUNCH. YUM! This is my FREE lunch!

Fettucini with basil sauce, grilled chicken AND grilled shrimp, grilled zuccini and squash, with garlic toast. It was as good as it sounds!

Then we moved to science. I love science and I think that the one mistake many people that work with young children and moms make is that they make it so much more difficult than it is. Science, like math is all around us. And, it is so easy if you let your kids take the lead...

How many of you play with bubbles with your kids? How many of you blow the bubbles for them? How many of you, occassionally give your kids the wand-but never the bottle? How many of you -grit your teeth while you give them the bottle and the wand and just count down the minutes until they spill it all?

Have your children ever made bubbles that look like this?

Easy to do-check! Mess free-check! Art project when done-check!

Simply pour some bubble solution on a placemat or plastic table and give them a straw. Don't tell them what to do...they will figure it out on their own. And let them go to town! *safety note* Do make sure they are old enough to know the difference between blowing through the straw and not sucking...but a little bubble solution never killed anyone! Ask them things like-what is happening? How did you do that? Can you get a bubble inside a bubble? Can you make one giant bubble? Should you blow hard or soft to make a giant bubble?

When they are done....and trust me, it could be awhile. Let them add a drop or two of food coloring to their solution and lay a paper towel on it. It will look something like this....

I didn't have any food coloring with me or I would have done that part, but you can see how interesting it becomes as you watch the towel soak up the solution. Once dry, this would be really awesome if you laminated it. There are usually "teacher stores" in most towns that will laminate for fairly cheap. Paper towels have the amazing ability of looking alot like rice paper when laminated...it's one of my favorite effects.

I'm going to stop here for today, but believe it or not that isn't all I got out of this workshop!

Tomorrow...How to set up engaging centers that will draw children in! At home or in a classroom!

Friday Confessions....

2011-05-27T23:32:00.000-05:00

My confessions for this Friday are short and bittersweet....

#1 I am too tired to write much and I have a headache.

#2 I am sad...my baby crawled and sat up last night. Yes. S.A.D. She's still a baby-she really must stop all this development nonsense.

#3 My oldest, the beautiful teenager that she is, went to her first boy/girl party tonight. I told her "no kissing and no dark areas where parents couldn't see her". Secretly, I thought..."I'd already kissed by the time I was that age". But, that doesn't mean she can!

#4 When strangers say that my son who is clothed in very "boy" clothing looks like a girl...because of his long hair...I want to ask them "is hair length really the only thing you are looking at when you determine the gender of my child?" "Do your biases not carry over into his clothing at all?" "Or better yet, are you completely ignoring the fact that he is bouncing off the walls like a maniac talking about Star Wars and Batman?" "Oh, I see...those stereotypes you are happy to ignore.."

#5 Again, I am tired...so that's all you get this week.

#6 My Friday Confession tradition is kind of taxing my brain. It's hard to remember all the bad mommy, crazy wife, absent minded woman moments that I have in a week.

My Monday...

2011-05-23T22:10:00.000-05:00

So, generally speaking Monday is kind of a blah day! I mean for most of us ~~suckers~~ grown-ups it means going back to work for the week.

A headache kept me home today and it turned out to be fairly interesting....

Here, I give you... My day in pictures. I'll have you note that my day started at 3 a.m. when a certain little tot fumbled his way to my room and into my bed. I don't have a picture of that though.

First, I took this sweet angel baby and her sister to the babysitter and school. Upon arriving at the babysitter I realized that I forgot the can of formula I was supposed to bring so that she could eat this week. Oops! So I drove back home and got the formula and took it back to the babysitter. This was annoying, but actually ok because I also had to go to the ~~money sucker~~ drugstore to pick up my headache medicine and some other pills. So I did that and came back home.

This was little man's first day of his first summer break so he was home. That is when my day became interesting. I had a brief nap on the couch and then the rest of our day turned in to what I like to call "Transformer Hell".

This is Bumble Bee. I love Bumble Bee, mostly. My hubs, great man that he is, and lover of all toys circa 1980's...bought Clark his very first real Transformer toy. I should also note that we don't really believe in those warnings about how old children should be when they play with things. I think those are just guidelines.

Said Transformer is a pain in the ~~ass~~ rump to actually transform. The directions, yes directions, have 20 steps for transforming him from vehicle to robot. So since he got it, we have been asked (since he can't do it himself) to transform Bumble Bee exactly 44 times. Today, when he wanted to watch the movie...great idea we thought...NOPE. Not for us. Everytime Bumble Bee transformed from one thing to the other...Clark wanted HIS Bumble Bee transformed! F.U.N.

The next shot is when a strange man that I have never met before came to my house and wanted to hang out for awhile. He was nice, but I was happy when he left and it was us and Clark again.

Clark had a rough afternoon and evening. Something about him has always been triggered whenever another person is added to the equation. I don't know why, but he can be completely calm all day with one of us and then the other one comes home and he's a maniac. It also happens when we go to pick him up from the grandparents. I don't know why...but having me home today just threw off his groove. A few thousand Clark tantrums later I found myself alone with my pre-dinner snack....

Ahh, cheesecake. It really can turn a frown upside down and make all right with the world again. And possibly allow mom enough time to hatch an evil plan to ~~hide~~ lose Bumble Bee. I promise one day will find him again...

Argh Matey....

2011-05-22T20:02:00.000-05:00

Well, we made it to see the Pirate Ship! It was fun. The festival we went to was free and the Pirates only took $2 of our loot to go aboard the ship. Daddy and Clark went up while us girls stayed on dry land....

At first, Clark was a little on the shy side. But then he got into it and had a good time. It was neat to watch him take it all in. These particular pirates can be hired for shows and what not...I see a possible birthday party in our future.

We also got to see a lot of really cool art work. Made me wish (once again) that I was as artistic as I ~~think~~ wish I was. I think I can safely say that we may be able to visit this festival every year. The hubs even admitted that he had a good time and was (gasp) "glad we went".

All in all, a great time was had by all. Tell me about your favorite free/cheap family events in your town.

Come What May...

2011-05-21T21:54:00.000-05:00

I am so excited!

I think I have successfully talked the hubs into going with the children and I to a local arts festival tomorrow.

We don't get to do things together very often.

Even less often it is stuff that I want to do.

So, I am so EXCITED!

I love art. I think I was an artist in a past life.

AND....there is going to be a Pirate Ship there! A PIRATE SHIP!!!!!

I can't wait! I will let you all know how it goes!

Today we had a good day at home. Clark is in love with the movie Tangled. We rented it last night and I am afraid to take it back...he sat through the whole movie the first time. Then we watched it FOUR more times. He played the other times but he really liked it.

Lexi is trying so hard to crawl :( I mean I ~~guess~~ know it's good that she is developing and growing...but I am so not ready for her to get bigger. It reminds me of that song Just Stay Little. I just want to freeze time with all my kids where they are.

What age would you freeze your kids at if you could?

Friday Confessions....

2011-05-20T18:58:00.000-05:00

Is it Friday already? Where did the week go?

So now it is Friday and I need to continue my tradition of doing my weekly confessions on Friday. Hmmm...Let me try to remember all the things that I did this week.

I run the battery down on my phone every night playing Mahjong on it. Is there a 12 step program for that?

I finally took Lexi to her 6 month Dr. appointment this week. She turned 7 months old this week. OOps...

I collect cook books. I adore cook books. I've only made a recipe out of a couple of the more than fifty that I have. Why again do I collect cook books?

I went to the store today specifically for bread. I came out with one box of mac and cheese, three bags of chips, deoderent and soap. Nice, very nice. Here are your sandwiches children, please imagine that they have bread on them.

I have never read Catcher In The Rye. Have you?

My hair is falling out. By the handful.

I know it isn't safe, but I could lay in the sun and tan everyday for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. I can actually feel it seep into my body. Sunshine. Vitamin D. Pure Bliss. Maybe it's all the rain this week, but I really want to lay out and tan.

Um, I got whistled at by a ~~boy~~ man today. Seriously he was probably barely legal. He pulled his car up next to mine at the stop light. Took one look at me and whistled. I blushed! Then this is the exact conversation I had in my head with myself.
Wow! I've still got it.
But really he's a child.
What does he know?
Nothing! That's what!
He's probably looking for a cougar.
What? Am I a cougar?
Am I old enough to be a cougar?
Maybe I'm a Puma. Or a Bobcat?
Surely I'm not a cougar.
What the what am I talking about. He wasn't even cute and he's a child!
I wonder what we should have for dinner?
And that was it. My internal psyche coming to terms with my status as an attractive woman. The truly sad part, for him-not me, is that I looked like bird poop on a horse turd today! Yep, I said that!

And lastly, I saw this car on my way home tonight....

It's hard to see in the picture. But it is a black Camero with PURPLE headlights. how cool! My first thought....

Holy Moses! It's the BatMobile! That is so cool!

I've gotta get me one of those!

My Wish List....

2011-05-18T20:04:00.000-05:00

You know how some people have a bucket list? I don't.

I'm not sure why I've never felt the need to come up with one. Does it actually help you accomplish things you want to do? I don't know.

I do have a wish list.

And it's very short.

It goes something like this....

1. I wish I was a stay at home mom.
2. I wish I could have farm animals.
3. I wish I was a stay at home mom.
4. I wish I could afford to have as many kids as I want.
5. I wish I was a stay at home mom.
6. I wish my grandparents had lived to see my children.
8. I wish the hubs and I got to spend more time together and do more things as a family.
7. Did I mention I wish I was a stay at home mom?

Maybe someday I'll get to travel to some other countries...but honestly if I don't, it won't make my life any worse. Maybe someday I'll get to take a helicopter ride to look at Christmas lights...but if I don't, oh well.

The things that would completely change my life....are the things on my list. And they all revolve around my children and my family.

After all...they are the MOST important thing. They are my legacy.

Who needs a bucket list when you have a legacy?

Shave your legs, find your uterus....

2011-05-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

So, I am sure with that attention grabbing title you are like "whoa, what is she talking about?"

Well, let me tell you about my day. It actually started yesterday.

I looked at my calendar at work and realized I had a Doctors appointment today. With the good ol' ObGyn. Gotta love them, right?

Actually, I do really like mine. So on my way to work this morning I thought about all the things I needed to talk to him about. I've been having some problems with my ovary due to cysts, having trouble getting my birth control all worked out, want to talk to him about my depression medication, etc...

This thought leads me to wonder why this appointment was made. I mean I didn't call to make the appointment, it's been set like since I had Lexi. So why was I going? Hmmmm....pondering, wondering, thinking out loud....AHA! I got it!

This appointment is for my annual exam. Oh Shite!!! It's an exam visit and I haven't shaved my legs in F.O.R.E.V.E.R....(sorry hubs)!

This thought brought my car screeching to a halt on the highway. Ok, I'm kidding, but it did send me straight to the drug store to buy a razor and shaving cream.

You got it. I shaved my legs in the bathroom sink at work.

This lead me to realize that my feet were UBER STINKY!!!! Oh my gosh!!!! He's gonna pass out from my feet stink. What am I going to do?

Well, I'll tell you what I did...I disrobed and put on my lovely gown (open in the back, please). Then I proceeded to wash my feet with soap and water in the little sink in the exam room.

That's right. I am that crazy! Or maybe I just really like my ObGyn and don't want him to drop me as a patient. You be the judge.

Then, during my exam...he says "I don't feel anything weird on your ovary but you do have a large uterus" Me: "Uh, ok..." Him: "Well, you did just have a baby, that's not abnormal" Me: "Uh, (look at the nurse awkwardly) ok"....If it's not abnormal....why bring it up? Weird!

So the moral of the story...if you shave your legs, you may find your uterus. Big or small, it is what it is.

So spill the beans...what embarassing thing have you done when life has presented with you a moment like this? Well, I admit life has probably never presented you with a moment quite like this...but you must have something to share!

Versatile Blogger Award....Ahh!

2011-05-14T22:40:00.001-05:00

I feel beyond adored! Admired! Loved! Revered! Is that too much? Ok, that might be too much. Anywho...I was awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by Angela over at www.angela-mommytimeout.blogspot.com

Thank you Angela! I love her blog so I feel very honored.

The rules of this award are:

1. Thanks the person who gave you the award...done

2. Share 7 things about yourself

3. Give this award to 15 newly discovered bloggers.

My 7 things about myself are:

1. I wish I could make a living as a photographer.

2. I think DisneyWorld really is the happiest place on Earth.

3. I have a scar that wraps around the entire circumference of my body.

4. I just learned that despite Google saying hot water and vinegar would work...poop just doesn't come out of carpet.

5. I don't think Batman should be considered a SuperHero. (He's just a rich guy with cool toys).

6. My favorite book of all time is To Kill A Mockingbird.

7. I wear Burberry perfume everyday and all my jewelry is silver. I heart silver jewelry and Burberry!

So, the fifteen new blogs I have been hooked to are....they might not be new to you, but they are to me and I am addicted to all of them!

www.henryhappened.blogspot.com

www.vermontwhitneys.blogspot.com

www.katieballa.blogspot.com

www.littlemissmomma.blogspot.com

www.flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com

www.kandjstaats.blogspot.com

www.whoknowskatie.blogspot.com

www.angelbabymacie.blogspot.com

www.memeandmonkey.blogspot.com

www.theunglamorousmommy.com

www.4mahoneys.blogspot.com

www.stealingbabykisses.com

www.readalouddad.com

www.hedingrowingfamily.blogspot.com

www.1cheapmama.blogspot.com

So those are just fifteen of the great blogs I check in on daily. Go show them some bloggy love too!

Confession Friday.....

2011-05-13T21:10:00.001-05:00

Again, I don't know why but Friday sounds like a good day to have confession! So here goes....

When I see a trash bag on the side of the road...I automatically think "body". Is that weird to anyone?

I watched 11 of my strong, amazing, wonderful friends celebrate one of the most important moments of their life this week. I sobbed uncontrollably all the way home.

The 4th of July is my favorite Holiday (in the summer). It reminds me of my Daddy!

I think the most romantic thing in the world is stopping to kiss in the rain but I've never done it.

I am the most adventurous eater in my house. It gets annoying. Trust me.

I wanted to be The Incredible Hulk or the Fall Guy when I grew up. (If you don't know who these people are (Nichole Jones) then google it)!

I'm going to market a bumper sticker soon, but I can't tell you what it will say. (You might steal my idea). Where does one go to market bumper stickers?

I was sucking red wine out of the bottle at 10:30 on Mother's Day morning....I"ll save the full story for another day.

So, there you have it for this week. Now, I want to know atleast one of your confessions for the week. Bad mom moment? Social mishap? Wifey duties left undone? No problem, spill the beans! This is a safe zone...no judgement allowed :)

Shhhhh...we won't tell!

Birthdays, Bonfires and Invisibility Cloaks.....

2011-05-09T21:21:00.000-05:00

Well we did it! We made it through Clark's 4th Birthday. Our boy is big and he got a big boy bike to prove it. And a Spider-Man helmut! What more could a boy ask for? Well, actually he could ask for EVERYTHING he sees in a commercial. And he could say things like "Whoa, I definately need THAT". But thank goodness he was very happy with all the things he got. He had approximately 2 bites of his cake, but ate all his ice cream. (He promised this would be the year he would eat his cake).

Here are some highlights from his special day...

So, that brings us to Mother's Day Weekend.
Let me start by saying that to me, Mother's Day is all about mommy sleeping in, getting homemade cards and macaroni necklaces. I love everything homemade and heartfelt. Keep that in mind!

Saturday I had all the kids paint pictures for the Grandma's and despite my asking for it...only Lexi (who I physically held and had control over) painted me a picture. She painted me a gorgeous picture with her feet and I adore it! I also had Skylar write each of the Grandma's a letter telling them how they are special to her. I instructed her to "make it personal".

We ended the day with a bonfire. I heart bonfires! Daddy cooked us hot dogs over the open flame and we had a picnic! Super fun.

Halfway through our Bonfire Clark disappeared. We knew he was still there because we could hear him...but we couldn't see him. You see, he decided it was time to put on his Invisibility Cloak. Good times, good times!

So that brings us to Mother's Day. The baby woke up at 7:15. She didn't get my sleeping in memo. But, that's ok because she's on formula now, so technically I don't have to feed her. I got up and made her a bottle. Put her in bed with Daddy and said I was going to the restroom. She also didn't get the memo that she was suppposed to pester him until he really woke up. I came out of the bathroom and politely (that's where I made the mistake) asked him to feed the baby. He said "why". I said "I want to go back to sleep". He rolled over and went back to sleep.

So that is how my mommy day started. Also, please note that Skylar said that she made me a gift at school...it is now Monday night and I have yet to see that gift. She also did not bother to write me a letter telling me how great I am....hmm! I know I was like this when I was thirteen and I am formally apologizing to my two mommy's.

I did get a lovely key chain from Clark that he made at school. Thank God for school and teacher's that understand that they might be the only hope that a Mom has on Mother's Day! AND I got to see my mom, stepmom and the hubs mom. All in all, we had a good day! But damn, I wish I could have slept in!

I hope you all had a Great Mother's Day!

New and Shiny....

2011-04-29T22:00:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else find it weird that twice this week something "unexpected" has happened which has forced me to clean something in my house?

Are the cleaning Gods working against me?

Is someone putting voodoo curses on me?

Let me explain my latest cleaning adventure. Oh, yes. I said adventure. It was massive. EPIC. Craziness. Total craziness.

The oldest child is at a school dance. The baby is asleep. It's just me and the little man hanging out. Watching Mary Poppins. Singing songs. Having a grand ol' time. Until I get up to go to the kitchen and he ~~lets a huge fart~~ politely passes some gas. I holler from the kitchen (ok, not really since it's like 7 feet away) "are you ok, did you poop?". He starts crying and runs to the bathroom.

Enter ringing telephone. I answer to hear Nana's voice. Little man stays with Nana several days a week. She proceeds to tell me that he had an upset stomach, with some unfortunate visits to the bathroom today. I am telling her that I know he has a cold and I think the drainage is causing his little tummy to hurt.

Then I round the corner to the bathroom to check on him....

EXPLOSION of poo. Like Hollywood Blockbuster Movie Special Effects kind. I took a picture though I won't share it with you. I value your eye sockets. I sent it to the hubs to make sure he knew how lucky he was to NOT be home.

Then I proceeded to clean. The bathroom. On my hands and knees. Right in the middle of that, the teenager calls to say they let the dance out early and she needs to be picked up. Uh, sorry sister. A little busy right now. Thank God, once again, for Nana.

So, I give you my conspiracy theory bathroom. Clean. Bathroom. Once again, an accident that has made me clean something.

You can admit how jealous you are now.

When It Rains....

2011-04-27T22:04:00.000-05:00

When it rains, it pours. Well, around here we can take that literally and figuratively. It's been a rainy week. Hail the size of golf balls and bigger in some parts. Flooding. Torrential rain. Even on Easter. So that is the literal part.

Here is the figurative part.....

Last night, I opened my water bill. Normally, $25 bucks a month, tops! This month...$133.75!!!! WHAT???? Can anyone say water leak? We have yet to figure this one out.

Last night, 2 out of 3 of my children kept me up all night with their coughing. No other symptoms. No need to pay a copay to hear "there's nothing you can do but let it run it's course". Just coughing. All. Night. Long.

So I took the big kid to school-early mind you, for state testing. Took the baby to the sitter. Came back home to get just a little more sleep.

Woke up to a refrigerator that isn't working. Warm fridge = smelly kitchen. Ugh!

Spent two hours cleaning out fridge and freezer, packing things into the deep freeze, and packing things into cooler to take to the in-laws. Takeing the doors off said fridge to move it to the garage, then ~~moving~~ helping it into the garage. Now I have this...

And this...

Of course, I also now have a nice clean kitchen floor since I used this opportunity to steam it. Now my hubs will probably "break" the fridge all the time so I'll clean.

Happy Thanksgiving...err Easter.....

2011-04-24T20:42:00.000-05:00

As I sit here tonight and reflect upon my day, I am so thankful. I got to wake up this morning and make my baby a bottle. I was really heartbroken when I had to stop nursing her because of my exhuastion and her hunger. But I know that in the long run it doesn't matter as long as I still have her here everyday.

I got to wake up this morning and hear my son in the living room playing with all the goodies the Easter Bunny left. I am also thankful that he somehow doesn't remember walking in on me last night as I was putting the baskets together. (????) I'm not sure where he tucked that memory away, and maybe he is playing me now....but he didn't say anything about it. Sure, he's rambuctious and a little crazy. Ok, so we have to fight to keep clothes on him. Actually we've been home for over two hours now and he has yet to undress. That might be a record.

I got to wake up this morning and help my oldest daughter put her eyeshadow on. She just got to start wearing make-up at Christmas and she's still getting the hang of it. Yes, she is one walking ball of hormones, but I am her mother.

Then I got to spend the day with some family. I got to see my grandma and listen to all the great grandkids play together. (I think we only had tears one time) And yes it was from mine! I got to watch Lexi try to crawl. I'm not sure what she thinks she is doing exactly, but it is really cute. She puts her forehead down on the floor and then gets up on both feet and pushes forward.

I got to sit in the passenger seat on the way home and sleep. I heart sleeping, I really, really do. And then when we got home I didn't even have to make dinner. I got to make Lexi some green beans and now I am typing away while she sleeps. I am listening to Clark and the hubs play a video game. I love listening to them play together. Tomorrow it will be back to the daily grind, but for now I will sit and relish in my memories of the day. I'm gonna refer to it as my Spring Thanksgiving!

I hope you had a great Easter day too!

Confession Friday...

2011-04-22T19:50:00.000-05:00

I have decided to make Friday....wait for it, Confession Friday! I know, I know. You are jumping out of your seat. About to pee your pants. Can't contain your excitement. And just for the record, I am not sure why I chose Friday to be the day of confession. I just did.

So here it goes...

I giggle when my son says he is watching the "assvertisements" before the movie.

I've never heard the song "Whip My Hair".

When someone falls down in my presence, I laugh out loud.

I have an addiction to Burberry that only my absolulte poorness cures.

I dream about getting pedicures, but can't stand for people to touch my feet.

If I had a whole day to myself to do whatever I wanted, I would probably waste it away asleep in my bed.

I just found out from my babysitter that the baby has been drinking 6 ounces for her for some time now....I've still only been giving her 4 ounces (epic mom fail).

I tell all my children they are my favorite something. Favorite teenager...favorite son...favorite baby. I figure this way they can never come back and say I lied or played favorites.

I wish every day could be the Fourth of July.

I haven't written one thing down in Lexi's baby book (another mom fail).

I love to cook/bake, but I hate to clean up the mess.

I have more, but I suppose that will do for today. I need to go feed that poor starving baby of mine. She is teething and she's such a trooper, but she's been running a slight fever with it. Yesterday she wanted the babysitter to hold her all day. Hope little tooth makes an apperance soon. It's the baby's First Easter. I remember on Skylar's first Easter I walked into her room to get her and she was sitting up in her crib all by herself for the first time! So cute, so long ago.

Mary or Rhoda....

2011-04-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

Go on. Admit it. You know you think of yourself as either Mary or Rhoda.

It actually is a major part of one of my very favorite, completely cheesy movies. You see, we can't all be the Mary's of the world. The glamorous single girl in the city making her way all on her own. Ready and waiting for life to take her to her next adventure. Cute and sassy, everyone loved Mary.

So then there's the rest of us...the mom that doesn't get enough sleep at night. The mom that has to make decisions like "should I shave my legs or wash my hair?".
The girls that usually sit and wait for things to happen to them instead of going out and taking the world by storm. The mom that digs in her purse and pulls out a pacifier even though her child hasn't used one in 4 months. (?)

And I am sitting here tonight watching 'Sex In the City 2' and wondering which one am I? I know I am NOT Carrie. I love her to pieces, but I could never pull off the completely bizarre clothes she pairs together.

I'm not Samantha..."nuff said". I don't think I am Miranda because even though she has kids and a husband, she is still all about being a lawyer.

So that leaves Charlotte. Yes, definately. I am Charlotte. For the entire run of this show, Charlotte had her heart set on getting married and having babies. Check Check, that's me! Of course, I am not married to a Jewish man and I don't have a nanny. Bummer to that second one! I kid, I kid.

But it's true. My entire life has been leading up to this point. So, although when I was young I longed to be the Mary....I find life is pretty good as the Rhoda!

How did I live....

2011-04-20T21:48:00.001-05:00

Ok, I have one word for you....INSTAGRAM.

How did I live so long (2 months) with my new iPhone and not know about Instagram?

It is the coolest app. I adore it. For proof of it's total awesomeness, I submit the following evidence...

So, long story short...Instagram is a picture taking app. But it lets you do all sorts of cool effects to your pictures that give them all kinds of retro feel. I love it! I heart it! I cannot live without it now!

If you don't have it, you gots to go out and gets it :)

Tornadoes in my mind....

2011-04-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

It's bedtime. Another day is done. Except I am all out of my anxiety medicine. I have been out for a week. I have been taking one Tylenol pm instead so that atleast I will sleep. Now I am out of Tylenol pm. So, now I am left wondering. Wondering what will fill my mind when it should be shutting down. See, that's my problem. As blessed as I am. As much as I have. When I close my eyes to sleep at night, the world closes in on me. My mind races with all the what if's, why's and how's? What if something happens to one of my children? Why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa. How am I going to do all the things I need to do? The list goes on and on and if I was honest. If I told you all the random and completely unrealistic, irrational thoughts that go through my mind. I would think about them too much and not sleep at all. And I simply can't stop them. It's as if I have an Oklahoma tornado whipping through my mind. Well, it starts in my mind and then spreads throughout my body. Leaving nothing but wreckage in it's path. Once again, I am powerless.

So tonight I will pray. I will pray for myself. I will pray for my family. I will pray for the mothers that are lying down to sleep after losing their child. I will pray for people that have wronged me, for I no longer have the desire or the energy to hold that against them. And hopefully, cross my fingers, I will sleep.

And tomorrow greet another day.

Ahh...Saturday!

2011-04-16T22:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it was so cold here! So cold! And it was Friday! I don't know what is going on around these parts but all I can say is some people have lost their damn minds! The last two weeks, Friday has been insane! The weirdest stuff that I can't even explain has been happening...but it all boils down to...people have gone off the deep end! I mean what on earth gets into people's head that makes them think they are better than everyone else. Or they can do whatever they want. Get off your high horse crazy! Give someone else a turn up there for awhile!

So I decided to be the super cool, hippy, laid back mom that I am and I played video games with Clark. Till 12:30. AM. In. The. Morning. Oh well, tomorrow is Saturday, I can sleep in. He'll sleep in. No big! Ugh, Lexi didn't get that memo!

She was up at 6:15 for her bottle. No problem, she goes right back to sleep. Any other day that is. She's back up at 8, screaming her head off. Hmmmmm...unhappy baby + sleepy mommy = not pretty. Not pretty at all. I tried everything and I finally came to the conclusion that it must be the teeth. Stupid teeth! So some orajel, tylenol, and cuddles...back to bed we go.

Today it was cold in the morning, but by the afternoon it was so nice out! Also, Skylar got her hair cut and colored! Ugh, she's growing up too fast...she actually gets her hair done more than I do! Thankfully, we have a great hairdresser in the family who takes great care of our hair! Ha Ha...care of our hair!!!

The gorgeous weather and my beautiful children inspired me to take even MORE pictures of my kids! I don't think you can have too many pictures of your kids. Especially if you are a uber ~~crazy~~ loving mommy like me!

So, here I give you my little love bugs. In all their glory and silliness! I wish every day could be like today.

And just to be fair....a truly horrid picture of me!

And my favorite quote of the day comes from Clark. "Today tonight or tomorrow tonight?" Guess we should start working on that concept.

Devils Playmate....

2011-04-15T20:16:00.000-05:00

Ever heard that saying "Idle hands are the devils playground"?

Well, I think they might have been wrong on that one...

I give you my saying, which I think should take the place of that one...

Bored pre-schoolers are the devils playmate. Why do I say this? Have you ever stopped to truly notice what a ~~insane~~ bored pre-schooler does with their time? Well, let me give you some proof.

What is that, you say. That is what a bored pre-schooler does. They run into your kitchen hiding what they have in their hands. You can ask them repeatedly what they are doing. They won't tell you. They'll say something along the lines of "nuffin".

But then you will decide, being the ~~paranoid~~ intelligent mom that you are, to go into the kitchen yourself to see what is going on. And that my friends is when you will see this.

That's right folks. It is none other than Handy Manny's good friend Squeeze. He's just hanging out in my kitchen busting up cheese puffs. Seems that's what he likes to do in his spare time.

Lucky me....

Productivity...

2011-04-14T22:39:00.000-05:00

pro·duc·tive /prəˈdʌktɪv/ Show Spelled
[pruh-duhk-tiv] Show IPA

–adjective
1. having the power of producing; generative; creative: a productive effort.
2. producing readily or abundantly; fertile: a productive vineyard.

They really should have my picture under this word in the dictionary.

I prefer this one....

I mean I did manage to write 8 whole brilliant pages of a paper for school tonight. Now I only have to write the other 12 pages or so. I supervised a preschooler at play and answered random questions from the ~~drama queen~~ teenager. Needless to say my house currently looks like an Oklahoma tornado really did come through here...but oh well. Housework does itself, right? Or maybe that's what kids are for. I currently only have one ~~worker bee~~ child old enough to do real housework...but I am already counting the things I can have these other kids do someday. I can't wait till one can wash while the other dries...I detest dishes! Why can't every meal come on a paper plate? I know they will be pros at laundry. I'm sure I will only have to go all "No wire hangers" on them a few times before they get it.

Now, off to feed a baby....that is Super Productive. Yep, that's me Mrs. Productive!

I've seen God....

2011-04-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to take the time lately to notice the little things in life. Ya' know smell the roses and all that. I know that part of this is because I have realized how important these little moments are. I knew that before but it has become even more apparent to me since the birth of Lexi. You see, I know she will probably be my last. Unless I win the lottery AND get a bigger house AND drug my husband and talk him into thinking it is a good idea. So you see my chances are slim to none. Which is ok. I am at peace with this little family of mine. God has given me each of them and I am thankful for each of them.

Anyway, back to my story. I've just really been trying to notice the world around me without letting everything pass me by. I also think this is because of the few weeks I spent in a haze. What did I miss in those weeks? A good friend told me yesterday what a difference sleep has made in my life. She said she could actually see the physical changes I've gone through. She said it was good to see me say Hi and smile with my whole face, even my eyes. I was glad to hear this, of course, but I also wondered what people that don't know me must have thought those weeks. I can't even imagine what I looked like on the outside. On the inside I was crawling out of my skin. It was like having an itch deep in the pit of your stomach and not being able to scratch it.

So, since I started to stop and notice things more...I've been seeing God.

I saw him here....

Here....

And again here....

I see him here everyday, lucky me!

Have you seen God lately? I sincerely hope you have. If you haven't, take a minute to stop and look around...

Who, not What...

2011-04-12T21:51:00.003-05:00

I realized today as I was reflecting on the past few days and my blogs about my kids that I mentioned in each of them WHAT I though they might become when they are grown.

Then I thought, I don't care at all WHAT they become. Rather I care WHO they become. Which I think is much more defining and important. So I decided to compile a list tonight of WHO I want each of my children to be...and I decided to do it in letter format. I could have just put together a list, and if I did they all 3 would say alot of the same things. But I thought letters would be more fun.

Skylar, I think you are amazing. I think you are creative and outgoing and that you have an extremely large capacity to love. I think that when you are grown you will be a wonderfully strong woman. I know this because of all the things you have already been through in your life. You have overcome all of them with ease and grace. I hope that you will be discerning in your relationships so that you will not have to be dragged down by other peoples actions. I hope that you will continue to be empathetic and compassionate, seeing the qualities in others that people don't always see. I hope that you will be the type of woman that is honest, dependable, and giving. I don't know yet if you will want to marry or have children, but if you do I hope that you find the love that you deserve. I hope that you are able to be a comfort and safe haven for your husband. I hope that you will realize that it is the feeling of a home that matters, not the contents of it. I hope that if you have children you will remember to count your blessings daily, never take one moment for granted, and always show them through your actions who you want them to be. It is always your actions that define you as a person, so make sure that you are behaving in a way that you will never regret. Be a good friend to people and expect the same in return. Most of all I hope you are happy and content, that you never hold your feelings in because they can eat away at you, and that you are able to forgive others even when you don't think you can.

Clark, you are already so brave and wise. I think you are secretly an old man full of wisdom and you are just hiding it from us. I hope as you get older and grow you will become even more inquisitive. I think it is your curiousity and imagination that will take you farthest in life. I hope that you are constantly searching for your next great adventure, but that it is legal and respectable. :) I hope that you will be an inspiration to others through your actions. I hope that you are a leader, which I think you will be. Mostly I hope that you are honorable. I hope that when people talk about you they can honestly say that you are a great man. A man of strength, wisdom, integrity and grit. That's right, I said grit. I want you to be able to take everything that comes at you and handle it. If you should become a husband, I hope that you are a giving husband. Make sure that you are never afraid to tell and show your wife how you feel. I hope that you are open about your feelings and not afraid to show your wife that you have emotions. Be her rock and her provider and fight for your relationship. Do not let outside influences have any bearing on your marriage. You must be the man, the head of the home and love, respect, and cherish her. If you are a father, I hope that you are a hands-on father. Remember that children need their Daddy. Give them your time and your attention, your hugs and kisses. Play with them, play with them, play with them. Put your family first in all decisions and you will make the right ones.

Lexi, I hope that when you are an adult you will still be as happy as you are now. I hope that you see the good in every situation. I hope that you have watched any mistakes your older siblings have made and that you are smart enough to not do those things. I want you to be independent and I will try my hardest not to treat you like my youngest and therefore take that independence away from you. I hope that you are able to make your own path and not let others lead you astray. I hope that you are willing to live life to the fullest and turn any situation into a learning experience. Many of life's lessons are learned on accident, remember to look for them as you are living. I hope that you love with all of your heart, never be afriad to love because of the uncertainty of it. Never let a man define who you are. You are the only you out there and no one should ever have the power to change anything about you. I want you to be respected and cherished. I hope that you are the type of person that people think of and know they can count on. Someone that can be called in the time of need and will always be there. If you marry, I hope that you will know how to give of yourself completely. It can be hard, but your husband must know that your love is true and that you are willing to be the other half of him. I hope that if you have children, you will always treat them as individuals. I hope that I have modeled that for you and that you are able to do it for your own. Children need a Mommy that is always in their corner and advocates for them. You must be willing to put yourself on the line to stand up for your children. I hope that you are fulfilled and complete and that when you look back on your life you can say "I have only good memories, I learned from my mistakes, and I have loved and been loved".

Mainly, for all of my children I hope that they are able to think for themselves. That they are creative, adventurous, and constantly searching for answers to their questions. WHAT they are in the long run matters to no one. They can be teachers, lawyers, doctors, artists, I really don't care. As long as I have happy children that love each other, take care of each other, and make me proud through their actions towards others. They will make mistakes, they will embarass me, scare the hell out of me, worry me and give me thousands of grey hairs. I'm ready to be here for them to yell at, cry on, hug, and ask advice...well I'll give advice whether they ask or not.

Well, I've gone on for far too long....I just love these kiddos of mine. I can't wait to see WHO they become. Take some time tonight to think of WHO you want your children to become.

Last, but not least....

2011-04-11T20:29:00.010-05:00

To wrap up my series on little miracles....I bring you Alexandra. In just 3 1/2 short days she will be 6 months old. Six months? Did I just write that? Where has the time gone? I regret that I spent some of it in a daze due to my struggle with exhaustion and depression. I feel extremely lucky that I recognized what was happening fairly quickly and got help. I can honestly say that my relationship with her has not been affected. I have cherished every moment of her sweet six months. But, I know I would have taken more pictures and written more down if I had been more "with it".

What I can tell you is this. She has personality exuding from her every pore. She is happy and smiling the minute I wake her up in the morning. She reaches for me when I walk towards her (I don't remember the other two doing that). Her face lights up when she sees anyone she knows. When she sees a stranger she looks to me first to see if it is ok to smile...but then she always gives 'em a smile.

She was a starving newborn, she was my smallest and she lost weight in the hospital. She couldn't get enough milk, she literally was attached to me constantly. But, when the time came she made the transition from breast to formula like a champion. She gobbles her homemade baby food like she is in a pie eating contest. There hasn't been a food yet that she hasn't liked. I am so happy that I made the decision to make her food. It has been very rewarding for me.

She has found her voice. She chatters like a teenage school girl. And the BEST part of my day is our car ride in the morning and in the evening when she sings along to the radio. I wish I could record it, I swear she is singing. Presh!!!

I can't get enough of her kisses and she can't get enough of mine either. I know this because when I say "I'm gonna kiss you", she opens her mouth and sticks her face out to me. Proof! She takes up the whole bed when she sleeps and she has been sleeping on her tummy for a while now. She is a thumb sucker (my only one) and I think she is going to be left handed...that is the only thumb she will suck.

I think she is going to be a genius and I am pretty sure she is a very visual person. She watches people move across the room and she "predicts" where they will be next if they walk behind something. It's too soon of course to foresee what life will hold for her. I do know that she is loved and cherished. Not just by me, but by all of us. Even Clark likes her, for now at least. We'll see what happens when they have to start sharing a room.

Little Miracle #2....

2011-04-10T19:56:00.007-05:00

My planned miracle...Clark, named after Superman.

What can I say about Clark? To know him is to not only love, but adore him. He is amazingly imaginative and adventurous. He has not been afraid of anything since the minute he was born. We should have named him Peter Parker because he can scale anything just like Spiderman. His first word was "up". I mean what baby says "up" before any other word?

He never stops moving. Even in the womb he never stopped moving. Now when he sleeps there is always something "twitching" a finger, a toe, his lips. I used to tell the Dr. he had to get him out of me because he was bruising my insides. He was a very strong mover and kicker. I enjoyed every second of being pregnant. And I knew that it was a boy, I just knew it. We actually got to have a 3D ultrasound done with him and it was so miraculous to get a glimpse of him in there.

Clark has the attention span of a much older child. When he is engrossed in something, there is no stopping him. This is also where is imagination comes into play. He is always re-enacting things, making up stories, and acting things out. His toys are his world and to him they are truly alive. He got a Woody doll from Toy Story for Christmas when he was 2 1/2...later I snapped a picture of him feeding him hot dogs.

He is going to be 4 in May and I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. He started pre-school this year and he has gotten so mature. He picks up on the things he does at school so quickly. He loves to be read to and he loves for me to sing to him at night. He is stubborn. So stinking stubborn. He is the exact replica of his father (even though his father refuses to admit that he acts that way).

He is in the "why" stage of life. He probably says why about 48 times a day. My favorite part is that when I can't think of an answer to his why anymore...I always say "hot dog on a stick" and he stops asking why. Right now, he wants to be a Dr. when he grows up. He likes his Dr. because when you take Buzz and Woody to the Dr. with you, this Dr. examines them first. Clark thinks he is awesome. I can see him as a Pediatrician maybe. He would really relate to his patients.

But I will be happy no matter what he becomes as long as it requires that he wear clothes. That's the other thing you have to know about Clark. He loves to be naked and getting him to keep his clothes on is like running a marathon. Mostly, Clark keeps me laughing and entertained. He says really funny things. Granted sometimes they make me think "what in the world goes on in this boys head?" But I wouldn't trade one minute of it, and I can't wait to see where life takes him. I'm just along for the ride.

Little Miracles...

2011-04-09T21:50:00.006-05:00

I have three little miracles. Let me tell you more about them. One at a time...

Skylar, my first. She was a surprise. Me a young girl with no real goals in life yet. Floating around with no responsibilities. In one second my whole world changed. She changed my world. She defined me....I am mother. She was the fussiest baby I had ever met in my whole life! She cried all the time. She couldn't latch on, she was gassy, cholic, just plain grumpy I think. And she could projectile vomit across the room. We sat outside alot together in the Texas Fall weather. (She's my only Texan) I hated living in Texas away from my family and I couldn't wait to come home. And when we did come home...she was a completely different baby. Happy go lucky. But she liked being held (thanks to me never putting her down) so it was hard on other people to watch her. She did everything right on track at just the age she was supposed to and her personality blossomed. She was quietly curious. She took things in, she watched people, she got into everything. She had imaginary friends AND imaginary pets. She's strong, a little shy if you don't know her, silly, artistic and so smart. She plays the guitar. I secretly dream that she'll become a rock star and take care of me when I am older. I also want to go on the road with her and see the world. I think we would have a blast together.

She reads the same way I used to and wish I still had time to. She always has her Kindle in her hand. I wonder what people think of her when they see her nose buried in a book? Are they willing to find out who she really is...? She is still finding out the true meaning of friendship. And it is hard for me to watch her struggle with that. I give her advice, but I know in her head she is saying "Dumb mom, you don't know anything". I wish I could take away all the pain that she might ever feel and I can't believe that she is mine. She is my daughter and I know that once we get past all the horrible teenage years, we will be great friends. We have so much in common and I can see the whole world being open to her if she makes the right decisions.

The most important thing you should know about Skylar is that from the day she was born she's been empathetic. She has made me proud so many times in her 13 years by helping people, showing her empathy towards people, and standing up for what is right. She's on the verge of being a teenager. She's in that perilous middle road. She still wants to be our little girl, but she also wants to be responsible and older. I worry about her constantly, she is already so beautiful and talented. I can't imagine what she might become.

I don't know how I did it, but I think I've managed to raise one great girl so far. Don't get me wrong...there are days she drives me crazy. But I couldn't be prouder or happier to call her my first daughter.

Silent Suffering...

2011-04-07T21:09:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I blogged. I would blame it on a crazy semester at school, but I can't. I was having a crazy semester at school until I literally lost control one day. This will be the hardest thing I have ever written about, but I think my soul needs to let go of it. So I am releasing it out into the world. Not only to give myself the healing power of letting go, but also to maybe help someone else.

There are lots of things no one tells you when you are pregnant and getting ready to have your first baby. But for the most part you figure it out. You make mistakes, but you get through it. There are also lots of things that people do tell you. Not only do they tell you the first time you have a baby, but also the second and the third. The key to this advice or knowledge is that you hear it, take it in and most importantly recognize it when it happens to you.

As many of you know, I started going to college and in my second semester with over half of the program left to go....I got pregnant. Not planned. Suprise. Shock. Oh my gosh! But those feelings subsided and they were replaced by joy. My single greatest pleasure in life comes from mothering my children. It is everything important about me. I am a good mom, no wait, I am a great mom. So now I get to add to my already amazing family. Clark is in preschool, Skylar is in middle school, and a baby will tie everything up in a nice little bow.

I took 17 hours that second semester, nine in the summer and 17 more in the Fall. I gave birth after a healthy 9 month pregnancy. My labor with Lexi was the longest of all three of my labors and there were several "issues" that arose. My recovery was longer because of an allergic reaction to the epidural tape. I was in the emergency room a week later with a urinary tract infection. The baby nursed every two hours and I went back to my full time school schedule just two weeks later. Luckily, she went with me every night.

I took eight weeks off from work and I adored the time I was spending with the baby. Something was different with me though. I didn't even know it at the time. Christmas was coming...I love Christmas! But this year it didn't seem to matter as much. Why? I hated the thought of going back to work and I would cry when I did think about it. I just wanted to curl up in bed with the baby and never leave. But I had to do it. For months I went to work, went to school, nursed, pumped, went to work, went to school, nursed, pumped. That was my life. Was I happy? If you asked me I would say yes...but something was off.

Fast forward to March. I'm sitting in my car crying and I physically cannot drive myself to work. I cannot make myself go to work. It took me an hour to make the drive that day. Other days it was something else. Non-stop crying for something, for nothing, for anything. I thought I could keep going, I thought I could do it all. I've pushed so far and I can't stop now. But then my body rejected my mind. I called the doctor and said I need help, he prescribed me something. I cried because I needed help, I was failing. I would go to work and sit at my desk not knowing what to do, what step comes next in my day? Or I wouldn't go to work at all. I did this for weeks, every day. Then it happened. I lost control. I went to the edge and I was about to fall off the cliff.

I woke up one morning after another night of no sleep. I was changing Lexi's diaper and she smiled at me. I couldn't smile back. I tried. I tried with all my might to smile at her precious little face. But I couldn't. I went to work shaking and I called my step-mom. She told me to call the doctor and I did. They said they would call me back, but in the meantime I had a total breakdown. I freaked, I cried, I rambled on and on about everything I felt and I called the doctor back and said "I need help now". They sent me tot he emergency room.

See where I went wrong was in thinking I was a professional. This is my third baby and I adore babies. Why in the world would there be any problems? Exhaustion, anxiety, stress, depression. I had it all. They warned me with every baby...but I swore it wouldn't happen to me. Well it did.

I had to make some changes to my life. I cut back on my school hours, I stopped nursing, and I take two medications. One for depression and one for anxiety that helps me sleep. I added a year to my schooling when I cut back on my hours,but the time I have gained with my children is worth it.

I laugh everyday. I love everyday. When my children smile at me, I smile back at them. And I thank God everyday for my blessings.

If you or someone you know has any signs of anxiety or depression, especially after having a baby...please don't suffer silently. Get help and get better...It will change your life.

Tis the Season....

2010-12-18T23:49:00.004-06:00

I ADORE Christmas. I love it so much. The food, the family, the gingerbread houses, the tree, the presents. And the Christmas Eve candlelight service. I haven't gotten to go to one in several years, but I remember as a child loving them. It is something my mom used to take me to. I would get goosebumps.

This year I think I will start a tradition of sitting all the kids down and reading the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. I also want everyone to start wearing Christmas PJ's, but I ran into a few snags this year. So that will start next year.

Cookies for Santa, Reindeer food, hot cocoa...Clark is 3 this year and I think he is really into the whole thing. I can't wait to see him.

What special traditions does your family have for the Christmas season?

I struggle every year with being an adult that can't yet afford to do as much as I would like. I mean, we do the most for our kids of course and then each other. But I feel bad that our parents are so good to us and we can only afford to get them a few things. I try to make them special and thoughtful, but I wish I could do more. I really, truly love GIVING just as much as getting. I love to see the look on the face of someone I love when they open up something I have picked out for them, or that my kids have made them.

So, my next question...how do make Christmas as special as you can while still saving money?

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

One beginning...another ending!

2010-12-17T23:58:00.008-06:00

Wow, 2010 is coming to a close. It is funny to read back through post from when I started this blog and see what was happening in our lives. Not much has changed, yet so much has changed. The news that we were expecting, three more semesters of school out of the way, birthdays, and the arrival of baby Lexi. And now I get to look back on the year and remember how truly lucky I am. Ok, so I didn't finish the Love Dare and I didn't do very well blogging. (Hey I took like 17 hours a semester)! But, I had a great year. And there are no signs that next year should be any different. I am scheduled to graduate in May, finish up classes in the Summer and student teach in the Fall. Clark started preschool this year and over the last few weeks we have seen tremendous changes in him. He still likes to be naked for the majority of the day, but he learned that isn't allowed in public. He shares a fondness for my pizza fascination and buys me the most amazingly thoughtful gifts at his weekly excursion to the restaurant supply store with Gram. And last but not least, he discovered Super Heroes and Star Wars. Our house will never be the same.

Skylar started the 7th grade and for the most part has had good year. She randomly changes boyfriends for no reason and has a pretty good group of friends. She is getting prettier and prettier and I think we are about 2 years away from locking her in the closet. She is just as smart as ever, but has started using her smartness for evil...I fear she is turning to the darkside.

Note the shifty look in her eyes....

The hubs and I are good, he honestly never noticed (or atleast never said he noticed) that I completely abandoned the Love Dare. I still want to do it and hope that I can when things aren't so crazy. And of course, the baby came....the wonderful blessing that we didn't know we wanted. Well, I knew I wanted more and would still have more...if I had an endless supply of money! But, I think she even has Daddy wrapped around her finger now.

So that is kind of our year in a nutshell. Oh there is so much more I could say...but I can't remember it all. So that will be my lesson to myself. If I had taken just a few short minutes a day to blog...I really would have given you the full story!

2010-11-30T00:06:00.002-06:00

This is the post to introduce our beautiful new family member! She is six weeks old now and it is funny to read back through when I started this blog, shortly before she was conceived. She was a suprise -thanks to the Love Dare that I was doing at the time. We adore her and we are thankful that God always knows his plan for us and he will see us through all things! So welcome to the world Alexandra...we are so glad that you are here!

Lyrics | Loudon Wainwright III - Daughter lyrics

Split Personality

2010-09-25T20:40:00.003-05:00

My name is Lea Nance and I have split personalities. Not medically speaking, of course but figuratively. Why do I say this? Well, I have a confession to make. I love to read. Actually I am quite addicted to reading. I fall asleep almost every night with a book on my chest. I take books with me in the car and if they are really good, I read them at stop lights. Some people have recently signed a petition to not text and drive but I should probably sign a “no reading while driving” petition. I think reading is fundamentally important to my life and I think it actually helps define who I am as a person. Great, you say...but where is the other personality? Well, that would be in the fact that now, as a college student, I have to read copious amounts of informational text. Don’t get me wrong, I like to learn and many of the books are very useful to me. But oh how I struggle to put down my latest find to pick up a book for a class. In each short, sweet break from one semester to the next, I cram reading into every corner of my life. I go to the bookstore and buy discount books just to try them out. And I fall in love over and over and over again. With strong women, and romantic (sometimes sparkly) men.
I love kids books and teen books and I can't get enough of my favorite authors. So, yes in the middle of yet another crazy, hectic and mind-numbing semester I am reminded again of missing my true love. Having an affair on my true love with the ten plus books I have to read for school. Don't worry, my love, I promise to return to you as soon as possible......

Pre-Valentine's Day...

2010-02-13T23:48:00.006-06:00

I would like to start by saying that I am not one of those people that thinks Valentine's Day is a really important holiday. I like getting presents for any reason or no reason at all, but the hubs and I don't wait for days like this to say how we feel.

In preparation for Valentine's Day though....

we had steak, the hubs choice...and it was a good choice...

and sauteed mushrooms...yummo!

We have planned a lunch date and a movie together for our actual Valentine's Day...but this is really only because we didn't do anything for our Anniversary a few weeks ago.

It is true love. True, True, amazing love! I hope you have it, and if you don't, I hope you find it someday!

Hmmm....

2010-02-12T21:25:00.003-06:00

I don't know whether I have too much to say or nothing to say! My mind is racing with so much. Between school, which is just busy, busy, busy. Work, really busy and crazy! And home, which is just home sweet home with one crazy two year old, one aloof 12 year old, and the hubs....they all keep me hopping. I have just spent three straight days home with Clark thanks to the RSV bug he had. Then my babysitter, the only non-family person that I have ever entrusted with my child tells me she is moving at the end of the school year.

A moment of silence please...

We will miss her and her wonderful family. And we will now have a good excuse to go the Lake and play this summer. So that is the way I will think of it, only the positive. But dang, I am sad.

I have learned through many friends that my prayers are just what they should be, which makes me feel good.

And I am looking forward to a Valentines Day with the hubs. My parents are taking my kiddos to a Disney show on stage so that the hubs and I can do something special. His first idea was to take me to the deer hunting lease to fill up the deer feeders. I promptly suggested that he do that the next day with his buddy! So now I am not sure what we will do. It would be nice to do something different that we have never done before, but that would probably require more time, money, and energy than we have. So a movie and a meal sounds real nice to me! I hope you all have a great Valentines Day!

And I would like to say a quick thank you to Survivor for not only coming back on the air...but also for bringing back Boston Rob! He is the best player ever in the history of the game...and I am addicted!

i ♥ faces Photo Challenge

2010-02-08T22:42:00.003-06:00

This week's challenge is in preparation for Valentine's Day. It has to have a KISS in it. I wish I had a picture of KISS, that would be cool! I will tell you that they (KISS) were in my town a few weeks ago and they were at a school in the school system that I work for...I didn't get to meet them :( so sad!

Anyway, here is my Photo for the Challenge. Clark was getting mighty bored at his sisters birthday party, until he discovered this friendly dog (statue) on the front porch of Nana's house. Even now, almost two years later he still kisses that dog goodbye every time we leave her house.

Love it!

I am submitting this [these] photo[s] into the I Heart Faces logo photo contest. By entering, I am granting I Heart Faces LLC permission to consider my photo for use in the marketing and promotion of their website.

I...

2010-02-03T21:03:00.004-06:00

Where do I start? My Love Dare Journey is harder than I thought it would be. Why? You say. Well, a lot of the days involve praying for my husband. For his peace, for his soul, for his part in our marriage, for our marriage as a whole, for everything! I will admit right here and now that I am a believer. I pray here and there.

So here it is.

I have prayed for help with this and now I am asking for your help. Any tips on how you get used to setting a time during your day to vigilantly pray. Any books or videos that have helped you on your way. Any thing. Throw me a bone here people! I have been halted by this process. The process of making me stop in the middle, or the beginning or end, for that matter of my day and pray. I know it is important and I have the desire. So why am I finding it so hard to do?

So, can you help me?

Photo Contest

2010-01-31T14:39:00.002-06:00

This picture is for a photo contest to celebrate Mandy's birthday at http://www.mandysphotoblog.blogspot.com/ I hope you had a great birthday Mandy!

It was Clark's first birthday and he had played around with the cake for awhile, picking at it here and there...then finally he got a chunk of it.

This is the only time he has ever done this, he actually isn't a big cake eater. So I was so happy I got one of him on his first birthday.

Snow, Snow, Beautiful Snow!

2010-01-29T21:53:00.002-06:00

I will be the first to admit that I don't always believe the weather men in our area. I mean it is Oklahoma and as the saying goes "if you don't like the weather, stick around for a few minutes". It is constantly changing, never predictable weather. Cold winters could last into March....Hot summers could last into October. You just never know. But man did they predict it this time. Sleet and then snow. I think we have 1/2 an inch of solid ice under the 6 inches of snow. It has been coming down hard since yesterday afternoon. The last time they said this, I didn't believe them and we had the first blizzard in the history of Oklahoma. That is when I learned that to be a blizzard, it has to be 35 mile per hour wind. They did say it could be worse than the Ice Storm of 2007, which was horrible. In the middle of the night our power went out. I woke up for some reason and being a) half asleep and b)a sleep deprived new mother, I thought I was blind because I couldn't see anything. It was seriously the blackest black I have ever seen. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. The hubs still likes to make fun of me for this. I had a nursing infant and an eleven year old daughter. I had to leave our house when we lost power and take all my stored breast milk with me. I first went to my in-laws, the closest family with power. Then they lost power and I went to my parents. Then they lost power and we all went to their friend Becky's house. We stayed there for a week I think. My hubs stayed home prepared to shoot looters (I think he was hoping for looters). Becky's daughter enjoyed our visit so much that she is continually asking if we have lost our power this time.

Here is a shot from the "07 Ice Storm"

So far we still have power, we have plenty of food, we have a gas oven and range and a gas fireplace...we are prepared to stay home this time. But I really hope we don't lose power. Skylar has a friend spending the night and I am prepared to enjoy a relaxing weekend, with power! Have I mentioned I really hope we don't lose power?

Anniversary....

2010-01-27T20:09:00.005-06:00

The perfect day was finally here. My wedding day to the love of my life.

David and I have known each other since the sixth grade. In my little fantasy in my brain, I actually remember saying "I'm gonna marry that boy someday". But, I don't think I really did. I first saw him jumping off this HUGE cement block in front of the school. He was doing some very impressive karate move. Super cute. I won't say we were friends. We never "went together", or anything like that. Until high school, when a mutual friend of the families set it up for us to both help a family that needed help. I was to watch their son and David was to take care of their horses while they were out of town. It was winter and we were at the Winter Dance at school. He asked me to dance, we talked about the fact that we would probably see each other...

One day at the house he came in for a "drink", very smooth! He kissed me, the nerve of that boy! But, then he asked me out on a date. He picked me up, we went to a movie (Wayne's World). Oops, I just seriously gave away how ancient we are. We shared Starburst...still one of his favorites. And Skittles, still one of mine. He paid. It was great. The rest of the night was mostly uneventful, a girl never kisses and tells!

We were friends after that, we spoke at school, we hung out sometimes...never ever went on another date. We danced at dances, proms, etc...then we graduated. Married other people. I had a daughter...

We each found ourselves single again, years later and we found our way back to each other. The rest, as they say, is history.

I have always loved him. Ever since that first dance. He was an only child, like me. Cocky and very sure of himself. He exudes charm and sucks you into his very being. Well, maybe that last part is just me. He is a great man, a good, decent, well raised man. He protects me and our family. He comforts me, holds my hand, and my very favorite thing about him...he will stop our moving car and get out to help little old ladies with their groceries! I am completely smitten!

Tomorrow will be our four year anniversary. It has been so wonderful to be married to my best friend. To see my daughter have the dad she deserves. To see my son, so much like his dad, grow into a little man with his own amazing personality.

I will take time tomorrow to sit back and appreciate all that I have. To thank God for giving me more than I could have ever imagined. And tell my hubs, Thank You for being the best Husband a woman could ever ask for.

Mars vs. Venus

2010-01-20T22:44:00.002-06:00

I don't remember now...is it women that are from Mars or men? I think it is men. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Yes, that is it. We had that Epic battle in our house this evening. This is how it played out.

The hubs:
"I love and adore you. You are the most beautiful wife ever. I am so lucky to have you, other men weep at the thought you are taken" (okay some of this might have been in my imagination). But he really did say this "I love you, how was your day?"

Me:
"Blah" "Really blah" "I hate my day" "I hate all days".

Yikes that is a lot of hates. Am I really that hateful? No I am not. I am however really miserable at work. So miserable that I detest going to the place. I detest the drive, pulling up in the parking lot, opening the door, all that stuff. Do I like my job? Why Yes, Yes I do. I just am so tired of the fact that my job which is to train, mentor, teach and help people has turned in to me babysitting people. Telling them simple things they should already know...like "come to work on time everyday". Really people? Please tell me if you have children that you are raising them to know the value of punctuality and a job well done. I can tell you it is completely lacking. And not just from the "younger" generation either...some of these people are well older than me.

So then, like the great hubs that he is...he asked me what was wrong. And I told him, everything, and then more...I got it all out. A note to all husbands...this is where this conversation SHOULD end. Just listen, nod your head, pat my back, say you love me. Don't try to solve the problem. You can't. See I know you are from Mars and you feel like you really must solve the problem. But you don't have to...you really just need to listen. And love. And support.

But man do I love you for trying. And I really love you for coming back later to make me laugh!

My high for the day was the thirty minutes that I sat at my desk and took a lunch break. I hate a delicious Marie Calendars Creamy Mushroom Chicken Pot Pie. Dreamily delectable! And I read a book while I ate it. A real lunch break, in the midst of my hateful day....it was good.

And then I made really great home cooked chicken. Simple, floured, tasty, pan fried chicken. My kids loved it...the hubs hasn't even tried it yet. I have leftovers for work tomorrow....another day at my desk with a book perhaps?

Time to Confess....

2010-01-19T21:51:00.005-06:00

Ok, Ok, I know. It's been forever. I haven't blogged in forever! I am a horrible blogger! I apologize to you, my devoted fans. Things have been really great at home lately. And I started back to school tonight. I go three nights a week this semester and then I have a weekend course that is three weekends long. So, I think I was just soaking up all my family time. Hunting season is over....YAY! That means the hubs is home. We went to dinner (no kids) on Saturday night. We got to finally go see his Grandma on Sunday...we never made it to her house for the holidays because of all the snow in our area. And then yesterday since I had the day off and the kids were out of school, we went with my step-mom to see my great grandma! It was so great to get to see her and to have my kids get to see her. I told Skylar to make sure she cherished the few minutes we got to spend with her, there aren't many kids now that can say they know their great-great-grandma's. I am very thankful that I have a relationship with her and that I knew all of my great grandparents on that side. My biological grandparents all passed before I was born, old enough to remember them, or when I was in my teens. I happen to think that children having relationships with the elders in their family is CRUCIAL. And I think that if there are no elderly people in the family, you should seek them out. In one of my after school programs I actually started a pen pal project for my students to write and visit with the elderly in a nearby nursing home. They learned so much, and they both got a sense of having someone care about them. In this day and age, that is so very important.

Things on the job front are so tiring right now. Another reason that I spaced out last week. Perhaps it is lack of vitamin D, but some of my workers really seem to have lost their minds. It is so stressful, today when I got to work an hour early, I actually set my alarm and took a nap in my car...just because I did not want to go in the building. I had to mentally prepare myself for the day I knew I was going to have. I can't wait to get home everyday and see my babies and my hubs. I am currently listening to Clark lay in his bed and talk and sing to himself. I should note that I put him to bed an hour and a half ago....silly little boy!

I have been making more stuff from scratch...a wonderful flat apple pie last week made the hubs very happy! It took forever to peel the five apples, but it was funny because Clark stood at my feet the entire time eating all the chunks I would get on the peels. I also enjoy seeing how I could change the recipes up a little. I really love to cook! My hope is that one weekend soon I can make a bunch of dough for pies and pizza and such so that I can freeze them. That way I can be ahead of the game since that really takes up time!

So, I promise to get back on track with the blog and keep you all up to date on my happenings....I know how you anticipate it :)And if you are in my area and you wanna help make dough sometime...just come on over!

i ♥ faces Photo Challenge

2010-01-12T18:44:00.003-06:00

This is Birthday Week at www.iheartfaces.com and the challenge was a recent photograph of a face. I snapped this one just this afternoon of Clark getting to really experience snow for the first time. He is watching his sister pick up big chunks and throw them. Hope you like, and Happy Birthday...I ♥ Faces!!!!

I am submitting this [these] photo[s] into the I Heart Faces logo photo contest. By entering, I am granting I Heart Faces LLC permission to consider my photo for use in the marketing and promotion of their website.

Cast of Characters....

2010-01-09T22:36:00.005-06:00

This is it. These are them. The people I spend my life with. Well, three of them anyway. I figure it is time to really introduce you to the people I talk so much about!

The Hubs...

If he sees this, which he won't, he will tell me I should have used a different picture. And I will tell him no, because this picture, this one little innocent picture...makes me love him over and over again. He is playing basketball with our daughter, while on vacation, with my parents, staying at my aunt and uncles house. I love that, that even though he is stubborn and likes to have his way...each summer he goes on vacation with me, our children, and my parents. Not a lot of men would do that. Plus, because of his work schedule, he doesn't get to play with our children as much as he would like. (P.S. if you need tips on how to talk your hubs into doing this...well, actually, I got nothing!)

The Girl....(Please do not let your teenage sons look at this)

Ah, the Girl, 12 years old and already so old. What can I say about this beautiful creature except that every day I am amazed. Amazed by her smartness, her beauty, her humor, and most of all the fact that I have raised her. What else in the world can make you feel so accomplished and proud? This picture and others from that same "session" we did are some of my favorites. Just two weeks later, she was so sick, just hanging on by a thread, and I almost lost her. Nothing can compare to that feeling. It isn't grief, it isn't sadness, it's impossible to explain. Is it possible from that moment on I will always feel vulnerable? That is the word. Every minute of my life now I realize that my whole world could crumble in a matter of minutes. I had never had a real grasp on that before. Now go hug your babies! No matter how old they are!

The Boy....

You have no idea how much I would love to have a picture of a sweet little boy posing for the camera here. Unfortunately, I don't have a little boy that likes to pose. I have a little boy that sees a camera and immediately thinks it is time to jump off the couch. Oh, I have a few posed pictures...but these are my favorites anyway. From the day he was conceived, he has never stopped moving. In the womb, it was constant. I begged the doctor to take him out...he was bruising my insides. Then even as an infant....he moved when he slept. Always a finger, or a foot, something has to be moving. One thing is for sure...he keeps us all on our toes. (On a side note, if you have some energy you need to get out....please call me, I will drop him off to you anytime) Just kidding, I don't give up my babies easily, actually.

So there ya' go. My happy family. Oh, yes we have our rough times...Christmas Break and the Mom vs. Clark Nap Time Battle for instance. But mostly, things here are grand. The Love Dare is going well. Some of the days are very hard for me, because it is telling me to do things and ask things that we just don't have problems with. So, I am doing them and asking the hubs questions as I go, to make sure we are on the same page. For instance, I had to write a list of rules I would follow while fighting with him. We don't fight. So, I made my list and tucked it away...of things I wouldn't do if we did fight.

The simple life thing is going well. I made dinner rolls from scratch tonight. It was after 9 when I finally got them in the oven but the recipe didn't say you actually had to have them for dinner. Boy, were they good....the kids were asleep, so I could've eaten the whole pan. (I didn't). Also, if the recipe says you should have 3 dozen...go ahead and make 'em small...don't think, "well if I just make 12, they will be really big rolls". After eating one...I can see why you might want them smaller. Plus, then you can trick yourself and eat three instead of just one. See I'm a genius!

Death in the House....

2010-01-07T22:35:00.005-06:00

There has been a tragic death in my house. Now, hold on, everything is ok. I said in my house, not in my family.

I went on a cleaning spree this afternoon. I am not sure what exactly started my "need for clean", but it occurred. And I will be honest that me feeling the need to clean is a VERY rare occasion. So, there I was cleaning the house. Since we had a "too cold" for school day in my town, I was stuck at home and had nothing better to do I guess. My daughter Skylar was home also, but I must say the main reason I got so much done is because I was able to take Clark to the sitter! YAY!

I had my nose, shoulders, and midsection stuck in my closet. I am sure from behind it was a beautiful picture. When I heard, "mom, mom, MOM"! So, I said "What"?

Skylar said, "please come here".

To impersonate Clark, I said "ok, fine, whatever" and walked into the living room.

This is what I saw in my kitchen.

Oh, not so scary, you say! Here is a closer look...

Ok, here I will admit to be so not a country, simple kind of girl. I called the closest man I knew (my father-in-law) to promptly come get the dead mouse off my floor. Thankfully, he only ribbed me a little bit!

On other notes for the day, I cooked a dinner that was so gross I won't even talk about it. My kids and I managed to scarf it down and the hubs ate something else when he got home.

Today is the Anniversary of the day I had Gastric Bypass. I used to weigh 315 pounds and my Body Mass Index was 54! I lost 170 pounds after surgery and two years later had all my extra skin removed, a full body lift, and a Ta-Ta lift. I have always been grateful that I was able to do it. And I have always encouraged others to as well. If you want more info on it...please comment or email me! I will try to dig out some "before" pics and scan them.

To put things in perspective though...I was feeling proud of myself and mentioned to Skylar that it was the Anniversary of my Gastric Bypass. She said, "well, it's also the day a mouse died in our kitchen".

I'm gonna take that as a "good job, Mom"!

i ♥ faces Photo Challenge

2010-01-06T23:18:00.007-06:00

One of my newly found and adored websites www.iheartfaces.com is having a photo contest this week to celebrate their first birthday! The photo's must have faces and their logo in them. Here are my submitted photos.

I am submitting this [these] photo[s] into the I Heart Faces logo photo contest. By entering, I am granting I Heart Faces LLC permission to consider my photo for use in the marketing and promotion of their website.

Lessons Learned....

2010-01-05T21:58:00.003-06:00

I read something today at http://www.theprovidentwoman.com/ that reminded me of a time when Skylar was little. She was four and she had a goldfish! God love Goldfish! Do you think they were created just for us to torture and kill? I mean, has anyone ever had a goldfish that lived???

Like more than a month?

Well, Skylar's goldfish was a total slob. So, we had to clean the bowl. I scooped out the little fishy, named Goldilocks, of course. I put it in a bowl and I washed out her home. Nice and clean, no streaks. Then I filled it up with water and put her back in. She swam around and all was well.

Until an hour later....

When she was floating upside down...

Ugh, what happened? I have to tell Skylar I killed her fish! Okay, this happens, she'll learn. What a wonderful life lesson! Things die! We'll have a funeral, we'll flush her...

And we did, we gathered around and threw, I mean gently placed Goldilocks into the toilet.

Apparently the water was cold...Goldilocks was miraculously shocked back to life and started swimming around in my toilet.

Wow! In one instance I went from Killer to Reviver, Saver, Healer!

Onto, some lessons I actually learned today...

Whole milk is not low-fat milk, pay attention when you are shopping!

When you get new Christmas Tree Ornaments....look closely at all the things they do. It is sad when you notice two years later that your sons First Christmas Ornament actually winds up and plays music.

Don't be surprised when you are taking down your Christmas Tree if you find a tennis ball in it...two year olds think very differently than we do.

There is a radio station in my area that recently "changed it's format"....GenX radio....it is awesome. Who knew listening to Nelson again on the radio would make me so happy?

Listening to said radio station with 12 year old daughter in the car....priceless!!!

I made pizza dough last night...from SCRATCH! Is it crazy to say that next to marriage and beautiful, healthy children...it might be one of my proudest moments? I felt so powerful, accomplished...and dare I say it, WOMANLY! I might have actually run through the house screaming "I am woman" if my hubs hadn't been home!

My final thought....try something new today-see if you can get that feeling too!

What? Christmas is over...

2010-01-03T16:01:00.004-06:00

I wish someone would have warned me that today would be coming. The very last day of my two week Christmas break. The day I should be taking down my Christmas decorations. The day I should be catching up on laundry and dishes and maybe cook a few extra meals to get ready for the week to come. UGH, why didn't anyone tell me. Oh and I mainly wish that someone would tell little man that it is Sunday and Mommy stayed up until 3 am playing on the computer. And maybe, just maybe he should be considerate and take a nap. But, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that the day is pretty much over and now it is time to think about dinner. We are once again trapped inside by snow. The snow isn't that bad, but I have a car with bad tires and two children. Why would I go to the hassle of dragging them out....so, in we are for the night. Our very last night of vacation and freedom. BLAH! And to add to the matter, I am officially counting down to the new semester of school. My semester starts on January 18th, so I have 15 days until insanity reigns upon my house again. Please, if you know anyone who is college age and thinking of not going...grab them by the armpits and shake the living crud out of them. You have to make them understand how hard it is to wait to go to college. Until you have no choice but to work full time and go full time, because you have mouths to feed. Until, you can't go out with all your little college friends after class, because you have a hubs and little mouths at home. Until, when you have to think about skipping class (even though it is gut wrenching because you are paying for it yourself now) it isn't because you overslept or have a hangover, but because one of your little mouths is sick. Oh for the love of pete, please make them understand they have to go to college when they are young!!!!
So back to my last day of vacation. I did manage to start one load of laundry so far, and the little man has discovered that we have more DVD's than the Toy Story and Cars ones. Maybe I have a short window of opportunity to do something else productive. I am thinking of making homemade pizza for dinner, with actual homemade crust. Another recipe from my new cookbook. So, I will let you know how that goes a little later....for now, I will relish my last few hours of freedom.

Focus....No, Really Focus!

2010-01-02T21:58:00.002-06:00

Take a moment to focus on what it is you really want out of life. Can you do it? Can you make a list? How many of the things on your list do you already have? How many things are you close to having? And how many are really far out there...so far, that people would think you were crazy? I would like to tell you that I am going to share my list with you. But I can't. I haven't been able to focus long enough to make one. I will tell you that I am working on focusing long enough to make a list. Maybe you could say that is my New Years Resolution. To make a list of all the things I really want out of life. I didn't throw that out in the air at midnight....is it too late to claim that as my resolution? What were your resolutions? I would love to know.
I will update you on the progress of my two "pet" projects. And I will tell you that one of the reasons I decided to blog about them is because my husband doubts my ability to "follow through" with them. He seems to be living in some sort of denial by thinking that just because a person has a great idea, they have to do it forever. I don't believe that. I happen to think that sometimes people (me especially) have great ideas that just aren't practical for the long haul. If this has happened to you, I forgive you, I won't hold it against you! Maybe I should start a 12 step program for it.
So as for my "simple times" project. I had to have a deep discussion with the hubs about this project after he mistakenly thought I meant I was going to clean and organize the house so that things would be "simpler". Ugh, how did I go wrong? No, it is about doing things the old fashioned way...cooking from scratch, planting a garden, making gifts, etc....now he is on board. Well, kinda. He still doesn't think I will follow through! So far, I have set out to learn how to garden and preserve, and I have made some big decisions. For instance, this year my garden will be constructed of raised beds. This means I am currently taken donations of wood. I learned from my neighbor who successfully gardens every year, that we have bad soil in our neighborhood--good to know! And I have made 5 recipes from my Pioneer Woman cookbook. You can find her link in my first blog post. The food has been wonderful and I have only had a few setbacks. I have made Pineapple Upside Down Cake, Chili, Potato Skins, Sour Cream Pancakes and Eggs In The Hole (which were so good, I am thinking about making one right now). This side of my path is the side that will make me fatter for sure! YUM I love to eat!
Next, is my Love Dare project. This project has been interesting. The Day Four challenge was to contact the hubs and ask him how he was, how his day was going, was there anything I could do for him....he was at home with me all day. So, I asked him throughout the day those questions and he would usually smirk at me. The Day Five challenge was to focus on my rudeness. To ask him if there is anything he finds rude or unbecoming of me when we are alone or around others. He wisely said "no". Just kidding, I was prepared to hear something...but he might come up with something later. Today is Day Six and the challenge is to react to challenges in my marriage with loving ways instead of irritation. Okay, this was easy because the hubs woke me up by saying he was going to Walmart to purchase diapers for the tot for me....just because he knew I needed them and he wouldn't be home to help for a few days. What a great hubs I have!!!! Is it possible that my attitude is rubbing off on him?
Well, as it goes life is tumbling into the New Year fast and furiously...I am braced and ready to tackle everything head on! I hope that you are enjoying my adventures and welcome hearing from you. Now onto making that Egg In The Hole.....

The Last Night of the Year...

2009-12-31T22:11:00.004-06:00

2009 is coming to an end. Am I ready for this year to be over? Yes, and then again No! So much has happened to my family this year. I went on a business trip in April and got mugged! I can honestly say that is the first time that's ever happened! An even better part of the story is that boss and I (being both fearless and extremely stupid) fought him and chased him down. I got everything back and he got arrested. I got the news in November that he got ten years in prison. If I had gone back to testify, he would have gotten life. In August, my beautiful daughter got sick with what we thought was a bug. We were then told it was Flu A (the swine flu). Yet, my mother's intuition still told me it wasn't and when she didn't get better with that treatment we took her to the hospital. The third time she was seen by a doctor, after a billion tests....they found that her appendix had been ruptured for probably ten days (almost the entire length of her illness). Her little body had protected her by forming a sac around the appendix and it had filled with all that fluid and five kinds of bacteria. She had immediate emergency surgery and stayed in the hospital for 10 days. We were home for 3 days and she started feeling pain again, back to the hospital for a second emergency surgery and another 9 days in the hospital. Then she had to start school later than everyone else and it was her first year in sixth grade. Poor Skylar! She has pulled through like a champ and all her Doctors were amazed that she wasn't writhing in pain....She is one tough cookie! I went back to school this year to complete my Bachelors in Education and it has been hard and fun at the same time. And then there are the really great parts of the year that I will miss. Clark has been so much fun this year. His personality is amazing. He is funny and stubborn and so smart. I will miss this year of his age and the stages he is going through. He makes me laugh and want to pull out my hair on a daily basis. But the love he gives in return is worth every ornery little thing he does. David and his business are doing well this year. It was a big leap of faith for us to make the decision that he quit a good job to start a company. I am proud that he did not let fear stand in his way and I am glad that God is blessing us with the ability to get by. Just to help out...don't be afraid to go shop at his store (JP Archery in Sapulpa). We have a great family and group of friends and I know that 2010 will hold just as many challenges as '09, but hopefully also just as many rewards. I am starting so many life long projects. The Love Dare for one, I am on Day 4. I think that the strategies and skills I am learning through this will stay with me forever. And I am changing the way my family eats and lives. I have started making more foods from scratch to get away from both the cost and the unhealthy additives of so much store bought food. I will be planting a garden this year (my hubs has promised not to mow over like he did last years). By the way, I don't really have any idea how to Garden so....feel free to send me tips and hints! And I will be canning and preserving everything I can get my hands on. I want to get back to the simpler things of life. Not depending so much on material and store bought items. And teaching my family (hubs included) that homemade and handmade things are better! I am trying to decide on what grade I want to teach and pretty soon David and I are going to have to decide how to get rid of some of our stuff...or add on to our house! So that is my year in a nutshell and my hopes for the year to come! I hope all of you have a great 2010 and that all your wishes come true! I will continue to march down this path of mine and hopefully clear some of the moss off....

Wait! I Have to Vacuum!

2009-12-29T23:04:00.002-06:00

This is what happens to your hallway when a 2 1/2 year old gets a toy vacuum from his Nana. One day while you are minding your own business, he will start throwing EVERYTHING in his room out into the hallway! "What are you doing?" you will say. "I have to vacuum my room right now" he will say! At this point if you are anything like me, you will walk away, take a picture and let the little clean freak go about his business! (Note to all of you panicking out there, I made him put it all back). Also, of major importance today he and I went another round in the Battle of Nap Time Ring....The score was previously, Clark:2 Mommy:0....Today-I WON!!!! Granted it took me an hour of sitting by his bed telling him to lay down and the nap itself only lasted an hour, but I made my point! I probably wouldn't have been so strict on the whole nap thing today if I had gotten any sleep, but I didn't so a nap was essential.
Next, of great importance it was Day Two on my Love Dare challenge. My challenge was to still say nothing negative to my spouse and to do something unexpected as a gesture of kindness. I gave this a lot of thought and worked within my boundaries. There is currently the leftover conditions of the first Blizzard EVER in my state and I am stuck at home. Therefore, I made the kids a "kid friendly" dinner and made him a special dinner. I also had the crazy two year old in bed before he got home. This gave us a little quiet time at the table together with only one interruption from the older kid. I was going to make another recipe from my NEW favorite cook book The Pioneer Woman Cooks, I wanted to make Iron Skillet Corn Bread. A few problems arose, no buttermilk....no problem she says I can make my own! Great, I will do that! Oops, no vinegar or low-fat milk! Okay, scrap corn bread plans! Hubs will be happy with a hot home cooked meal. I think I succeeded in my challenge. Hubs did ask if I was on Day Two and I said Yes...then he said "Why are you doing this?" "Do you think we have a bad marriage?" Heck NO!!!! I think we have a great marriage and I think when you get to the point in your marriage when you think you don't have to keep trying...you should try something new and fun! I think we will grow and learn!
I have decided to put in here what I am currently reading and what my kiddos are currently reading. Reading is big in our house, so I hope that we can inspire you to pick up a new book. I am currently reading Out Of The Dust which so far is a great book about the Oklahoma Dust Bowl! My 12 year old daughter is reading Wuthering Heights and the two year old is currently reading a whole collection of classics ranging from Dr. Seuss to Eric Carle! Please, Please, Please read to your kids-until they are grown and out of your house! My daughter and I read the same books and have "mini" book clubs over them. We are the only members of the book club, it is very exclusive! We would love it if you wanted to read with us and chat about any books!
Thanks for listening....more tomorrow...

Oh My Heavens...

2009-12-28T20:54:00.003-06:00

What a day! The two year old is in some kind of stage that apparently requires that he go almost naked most of the day. Then at nap time, course he must get completely naked. He used to be a great napper....like three hours a day for me, but alas that seems to be over! My heart is broken! I do love nap time! And please don't think that it is because I use the time to get so much done. It is not.....I really like to take naps too! This is a list of the Top 5 Funniest Things he said at nap time today (he talked to himself for quite a while, to trick me into thinking he might crack).
1. Someone come save my life.
2. Oh, Come ON!
3. What's happening here?
4. I am a hero.
5. I am the real Buzz.
Okay, obviously the last one came from Toy Story 2, but it was funny that he threw out in this situation!
But enough of that, onto my projects. Today I cleaned out all my kitchen cabinets and threw away things, consolidated, made a stack of things to return to my mother-in-law...(sorry it took so long), and made room for my canning supplies. I felt great, accomplished, like I could take over the world. Then that whole nap thing up there happened and kind of deflated my ego! Oh Well. Next, I did indeed try very hard to focus on my Day One Challenge from the Love Dare...Resolve to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your spouse at all. Okay, I thought this would be a piece of cake. Not to brag, but I am not doing this because I have a failing marriage. I am doing it because I have a great marriage and I want to keep it that way. We rarely fight and we didn't fight today, but it was strange that my patience was tested a few times. Was it simply because I was focusing on it? Or was it because I have never thought about it in this way? And while I don't think I said anything negative, what if I said something I don't remember? Things do sometimes just FLY out of my mouth! Bottom Line: Day one...harder than I thought! I also started to wonder today "what would happen if I did the Love Dare on my kids"? Next, I made dinner...still reeling from my great cleaning project apparently I thought I would tackle Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Following my rules for a simple life, it is homemade from scratch and I had everything I needed. I got my recipe from www.thepioneerwoman.comI adore her. So her recipe calls for an 10 to 12 inch cast iron skillet, so I drag mine and throw everything in there. Apparently mine is smaller than that, there was so much butter and brown sugar in there it looked like heaven. Then there was too much batter, so I filled it up to the very top of the skillet. Yum I said and threw it in the oven. About 15 minutes later, the hubs decided the smoke alarm was about to go off and flew around opening windows...I checked the cake. This was a site, the brown sugary goo was seeping up around the batter and sliding off the skillet onto the bottom of the oven. No problem, I place a cookie sheet under it. Problem solved, the center was still completely raw though. No problem, I set the timer for another ten minutes...then checked again. A little longer maybe....then a little longer....Okay so 50 minutes later I had a perfect Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Here's a little secret, the extra butter and brown sugar made the most heavenly syrup that dripped all over and was like sin on a spoon. I encourage you to recreate my accidental masterpiece. I guess on my journey you would call this a upturned stone on my moss covered path. Or maybe I just stopped to look a butterfly or something. More tomorrow.....

The Start of Something New...

2009-12-27T20:48:00.000-06:00

This is it! My first day to blog. I have been thinking about this for quite awhile, but didn't feel that I had anything truly newsworthy to blog about. I still don't really, but I thought I would give it a try. I am starting two new things in my life, and this blog will be the story of my Journey. My Journey along a moss covered path towards a future I myself am still unsure of. Here are my new projects. I have decided to start leading my family to a simpler way of life. I am a country girl at heart. I prefer a good pair of jeans and cozy, soft sweater to any dress or suit. And while I like my jewelry, I go most days without makeup. This suits me, and luckily it suits my hubs. I am setting out with a goal to change the way we eat and live. My husband and I enjoy spending time together hunting, so this process is not new to me. I will however be adding in the adventure of gardening and canning/preserving as much of our food as possible. (It is my goal to prove to my hubs that he could move me to all the land I want with all the animals I want...and I could survive). When I tell him now that I want to get chickens and cows and pigs...he just says "NO". Well, actually he says more than that, but I thought I would keep things clean at first. Next, I am starting the Love Dare. I am so excited to begin this and I am anxious to see how my hubs reacts to things. So that is it. I will fill you in on more about myself later (I'm sure we have plenty of time). But for now, I will leave you with this....yesterday I went to get my son out of bed from the nap he never actually took. I found him with nothing in the bed, completely naked!!!! Two years old and already getting naked in bed. Note to self, consider grounding him from 13 on.....