How did I live....

Ok, I have one word for you....INSTAGRAM.

How did I live so long (2 months) with my new iPhone and not know about Instagram?

It is the coolest app. I adore it. For proof of it's total awesomeness, I submit the following evidence...

So, long story short...Instagram is a picture taking app. But it lets you do all sorts of cool effects to your pictures that give them all kinds of retro feel. I love it! I heart it! I cannot live without it now!

If you don't have it, you gots to go out and gets it :)

Tornadoes in my mind....

It's bedtime. Another day is done. Except I am all out of my anxiety medicine. I have been out for a week. I have been taking one Tylenol pm instead so that atleast I will sleep. Now I am out of Tylenol pm. So, now I am left wondering. Wondering what will fill my mind when it should be shutting down. See, that's my problem. As blessed as I am. As much as I have. When I close my eyes to sleep at night, the world closes in on me. My mind races with all the what if's, why's and how's? What if something happens to one of my children? Why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa. How am I going to do all the things I need to do? The list goes on and on and if I was honest. If I told you all the random and completely unrealistic, irrational thoughts that go through my mind. I would think about them too much and not sleep at all. And I simply can't stop them. It's as if I have an Oklahoma tornado whipping through my mind. Well, it starts in my mind and then spreads throughout my body. Leaving nothing but wreckage in it's path. Once again, I am powerless.

So tonight I will pray. I will pray for myself. I will pray for my family. I will pray for the mothers that are lying down to sleep after losing their child. I will pray for people that have wronged me, for I no longer have the desire or the energy to hold that against them. And hopefully, cross my fingers, I will sleep.

And tomorrow greet another day.

Ahh...Saturday!

Yesterday it was so cold here! So cold! And it was Friday! I don't know what is going on around these parts but all I can say is some people have lost their damn minds! The last two weeks, Friday has been insane! The weirdest stuff that I can't even explain has been happening...but it all boils down to...people have gone off the deep end! I mean what on earth gets into people's head that makes them think they are better than everyone else. Or they can do whatever they want. Get off your high horse crazy! Give someone else a turn up there for awhile!

So I decided to be the super cool, hippy, laid back mom that I am and I played video games with Clark. Till 12:30. AM. In. The. Morning. Oh well, tomorrow is Saturday, I can sleep in. He'll sleep in. No big! Ugh, Lexi didn't get that memo!

She was up at 6:15 for her bottle. No problem, she goes right back to sleep. Any other day that is. She's back up at 8, screaming her head off. Hmmmmm...unhappy baby + sleepy mommy = not pretty. Not pretty at all. I tried everything and I finally came to the conclusion that it must be the teeth. Stupid teeth! So some orajel, tylenol, and cuddles...back to bed we go.

Today it was cold in the morning, but by the afternoon it was so nice out! Also, Skylar got her hair cut and colored! Ugh, she's growing up too fast...she actually gets her hair done more than I do! Thankfully, we have a great hairdresser in the family who takes great care of our hair! Ha Ha...care of our hair!!!

The gorgeous weather and my beautiful children inspired me to take even MORE pictures of my kids! I don't think you can have too many pictures of your kids. Especially if you are a uber crazy loving mommy like me!

So, here I give you my little love bugs. In all their glory and silliness! I wish every day could be like today.

And just to be fair....a truly horrid picture of me!

And my favorite quote of the day comes from Clark. "Today tonight or tomorrow tonight?" Guess we should start working on that concept.

Devils Playmate....

Ever heard that saying "Idle hands are the devils playground"?

Well, I think they might have been wrong on that one...

I give you my saying, which I think should take the place of that one...

Bored pre-schoolers are the devils playmate. Why do I say this? Have you ever stopped to truly notice what a insane bored pre-schooler does with their time? Well, let me give you some proof.

What is that, you say. That is what a bored pre-schooler does. They run into your kitchen hiding what they have in their hands. You can ask them repeatedly what they are doing. They won't tell you. They'll say something along the lines of "nuffin".

But then you will decide, being the paranoid intelligent mom that you are, to go into the kitchen yourself to see what is going on. And that my friends is when you will see this.

That's right folks. It is none other than Handy Manny's good friend Squeeze. He's just hanging out in my kitchen busting up cheese puffs. Seems that's what he likes to do in his spare time.

Lucky me....

Productivity...

pro·duc·tive   /prəˈdʌktɪv/ Show Spelled
[pruh-duhk-tiv] Show IPA

–adjective
1. having the power of producing; generative; creative: a productive effort.
2. producing readily or abundantly; fertile: a productive vineyard.


They really should have my picture under this word in the dictionary.

I prefer this one....

I mean I did manage to write 8 whole brilliant pages of a paper for school tonight. Now I only have to write the other 12 pages or so. I supervised a preschooler at play and answered random questions from the drama queen teenager. Needless to say my house currently looks like an Oklahoma tornado really did come through here...but oh well. Housework does itself, right? Or maybe that's what kids are for. I currently only have one worker bee child old enough to do real housework...but I am already counting the things I can have these other kids do someday. I can't wait till one can wash while the other dries...I detest dishes! Why can't every meal come on a paper plate? I know they will be pros at laundry. I'm sure I will only have to go all "No wire hangers" on them a few times before they get it.

Now, off to feed a baby....that is Super Productive. Yep, that's me Mrs. Productive!

I've seen God....

I've been trying to take the time lately to notice the little things in life. Ya' know smell the roses and all that. I know that part of this is because I have realized how important these little moments are. I knew that before but it has become even more apparent to me since the birth of Lexi. You see, I know she will probably be my last. Unless I win the lottery AND get a bigger house AND drug my husband and talk him into thinking it is a good idea. So you see my chances are slim to none. Which is ok. I am at peace with this little family of mine. God has given me each of them and I am thankful for each of them.

Anyway, back to my story. I've just really been trying to notice the world around me without letting everything pass me by. I also think this is because of the few weeks I spent in a haze. What did I miss in those weeks? A good friend told me yesterday what a difference sleep has made in my life. She said she could actually see the physical changes I've gone through. She said it was good to see me say Hi and smile with my whole face, even my eyes. I was glad to hear this, of course, but I also wondered what people that don't know me must have thought those weeks. I can't even imagine what I looked like on the outside. On the inside I was crawling out of my skin. It was like having an itch deep in the pit of your stomach and not being able to scratch it.

So, since I started to stop and notice things more...I've been seeing God.

I saw him here....

Here....

And again here....

I see him here everyday, lucky me!

Have you seen God lately? I sincerely hope you have. If you haven't, take a minute to stop and look around...

Who, not What...

I realized today as I was reflecting on the past few days and my blogs about my kids that I mentioned in each of them WHAT I though they might become when they are grown.



Then I thought, I don't care at all WHAT they become. Rather I care WHO they become. Which I think is much more defining and important. So I decided to compile a list tonight of WHO I want each of my children to be...and I decided to do it in letter format. I could have just put together a list, and if I did they all 3 would say alot of the same things. But I thought letters would be more fun.

Skylar, I think you are amazing. I think you are creative and outgoing and that you have an extremely large capacity to love. I think that when you are grown you will be a wonderfully strong woman. I know this because of all the things you have already been through in your life. You have overcome all of them with ease and grace. I hope that you will be discerning in your relationships so that you will not have to be dragged down by other peoples actions. I hope that you will continue to be empathetic and compassionate, seeing the qualities in others that people don't always see. I hope that you will be the type of woman that is honest, dependable, and giving. I don't know yet if you will want to marry or have children, but if you do I hope that you find the love that you deserve. I hope that you are able to be a comfort and safe haven for your husband. I hope that you will realize that it is the feeling of a home that matters, not the contents of it. I hope that if you have children you will remember to count your blessings daily, never take one moment for granted, and always show them through your actions who you want them to be. It is always your actions that define you as a person, so make sure that you are behaving in a way that you will never regret. Be a good friend to people and expect the same in return. Most of all I hope you are happy and content, that you never hold your feelings in because they can eat away at you, and that you are able to forgive others even when you don't think you can.

Clark, you are already so brave and wise. I think you are secretly an old man full of wisdom and you are just hiding it from us. I hope as you get older and grow you will become even more inquisitive. I think it is your curiousity and imagination that will take you farthest in life. I hope that you are constantly searching for your next great adventure, but that it is legal and respectable. :) I hope that you will be an inspiration to others through your actions. I hope that you are a leader, which I think you will be. Mostly I hope that you are honorable. I hope that when people talk about you they can honestly say that you are a great man. A man of strength, wisdom, integrity and grit. That's right, I said grit. I want you to be able to take everything that comes at you and handle it. If you should become a husband, I hope that you are a giving husband. Make sure that you are never afraid to tell and show your wife how you feel. I hope that you are open about your feelings and not afraid to show your wife that you have emotions. Be her rock and her provider and fight for your relationship. Do not let outside influences have any bearing on your marriage. You must be the man, the head of the home and love, respect, and cherish her. If you are a father, I hope that you are a hands-on father. Remember that children need their Daddy. Give them your time and your attention, your hugs and kisses. Play with them, play with them, play with them. Put your family first in all decisions and you will make the right ones.

Lexi, I hope that when you are an adult you will still be as happy as you are now. I hope that you see the good in every situation. I hope that you have watched any mistakes your older siblings have made and that you are smart enough to not do those things. I want you to be independent and I will try my hardest not to treat you like my youngest and therefore take that independence away from you. I hope that you are able to make your own path and not let others lead you astray. I hope that you are willing to live life to the fullest and turn any situation into a learning experience. Many of life's lessons are learned on accident, remember to look for them as you are living. I hope that you love with all of your heart, never be afriad to love because of the uncertainty of it. Never let a man define who you are. You are the only you out there and no one should ever have the power to change anything about you. I want you to be respected and cherished. I hope that you are the type of person that people think of and know they can count on. Someone that can be called in the time of need and will always be there. If you marry, I hope that you will know how to give of yourself completely. It can be hard, but your husband must know that your love is true and that you are willing to be the other half of him. I hope that if you have children, you will always treat them as individuals. I hope that I have modeled that for you and that you are able to do it for your own. Children need a Mommy that is always in their corner and advocates for them. You must be willing to put yourself on the line to stand up for your children. I hope that you are fulfilled and complete and that when you look back on your life you can say "I have only good memories, I learned from my mistakes, and I have loved and been loved".

Mainly, for all of my children I hope that they are able to think for themselves. That they are creative, adventurous, and constantly searching for answers to their questions. WHAT they are in the long run matters to no one. They can be teachers, lawyers, doctors, artists, I really don't care. As long as I have happy children that love each other, take care of each other, and make me proud through their actions towards others. They will make mistakes, they will embarass me, scare the hell out of me, worry me and give me thousands of grey hairs. I'm ready to be here for them to yell at, cry on, hug, and ask advice...well I'll give advice whether they ask or not.

Well, I've gone on for far too long....I just love these kiddos of mine. I can't wait to see WHO they become. Take some time tonight to think of WHO you want your children to become.