Who, not What...

I realized today as I was reflecting on the past few days and my blogs about my kids that I mentioned in each of them WHAT I though they might become when they are grown.



Then I thought, I don't care at all WHAT they become. Rather I care WHO they become. Which I think is much more defining and important. So I decided to compile a list tonight of WHO I want each of my children to be...and I decided to do it in letter format. I could have just put together a list, and if I did they all 3 would say alot of the same things. But I thought letters would be more fun.

Skylar, I think you are amazing. I think you are creative and outgoing and that you have an extremely large capacity to love. I think that when you are grown you will be a wonderfully strong woman. I know this because of all the things you have already been through in your life. You have overcome all of them with ease and grace. I hope that you will be discerning in your relationships so that you will not have to be dragged down by other peoples actions. I hope that you will continue to be empathetic and compassionate, seeing the qualities in others that people don't always see. I hope that you will be the type of woman that is honest, dependable, and giving. I don't know yet if you will want to marry or have children, but if you do I hope that you find the love that you deserve. I hope that you are able to be a comfort and safe haven for your husband. I hope that you will realize that it is the feeling of a home that matters, not the contents of it. I hope that if you have children you will remember to count your blessings daily, never take one moment for granted, and always show them through your actions who you want them to be. It is always your actions that define you as a person, so make sure that you are behaving in a way that you will never regret. Be a good friend to people and expect the same in return. Most of all I hope you are happy and content, that you never hold your feelings in because they can eat away at you, and that you are able to forgive others even when you don't think you can.

Clark, you are already so brave and wise. I think you are secretly an old man full of wisdom and you are just hiding it from us. I hope as you get older and grow you will become even more inquisitive. I think it is your curiousity and imagination that will take you farthest in life. I hope that you are constantly searching for your next great adventure, but that it is legal and respectable. :) I hope that you will be an inspiration to others through your actions. I hope that you are a leader, which I think you will be. Mostly I hope that you are honorable. I hope that when people talk about you they can honestly say that you are a great man. A man of strength, wisdom, integrity and grit. That's right, I said grit. I want you to be able to take everything that comes at you and handle it. If you should become a husband, I hope that you are a giving husband. Make sure that you are never afraid to tell and show your wife how you feel. I hope that you are open about your feelings and not afraid to show your wife that you have emotions. Be her rock and her provider and fight for your relationship. Do not let outside influences have any bearing on your marriage. You must be the man, the head of the home and love, respect, and cherish her. If you are a father, I hope that you are a hands-on father. Remember that children need their Daddy. Give them your time and your attention, your hugs and kisses. Play with them, play with them, play with them. Put your family first in all decisions and you will make the right ones.

Lexi, I hope that when you are an adult you will still be as happy as you are now. I hope that you see the good in every situation. I hope that you have watched any mistakes your older siblings have made and that you are smart enough to not do those things. I want you to be independent and I will try my hardest not to treat you like my youngest and therefore take that independence away from you. I hope that you are able to make your own path and not let others lead you astray. I hope that you are willing to live life to the fullest and turn any situation into a learning experience. Many of life's lessons are learned on accident, remember to look for them as you are living. I hope that you love with all of your heart, never be afriad to love because of the uncertainty of it. Never let a man define who you are. You are the only you out there and no one should ever have the power to change anything about you. I want you to be respected and cherished. I hope that you are the type of person that people think of and know they can count on. Someone that can be called in the time of need and will always be there. If you marry, I hope that you will know how to give of yourself completely. It can be hard, but your husband must know that your love is true and that you are willing to be the other half of him. I hope that if you have children, you will always treat them as individuals. I hope that I have modeled that for you and that you are able to do it for your own. Children need a Mommy that is always in their corner and advocates for them. You must be willing to put yourself on the line to stand up for your children. I hope that you are fulfilled and complete and that when you look back on your life you can say "I have only good memories, I learned from my mistakes, and I have loved and been loved".

Mainly, for all of my children I hope that they are able to think for themselves. That they are creative, adventurous, and constantly searching for answers to their questions. WHAT they are in the long run matters to no one. They can be teachers, lawyers, doctors, artists, I really don't care. As long as I have happy children that love each other, take care of each other, and make me proud through their actions towards others. They will make mistakes, they will embarass me, scare the hell out of me, worry me and give me thousands of grey hairs. I'm ready to be here for them to yell at, cry on, hug, and ask advice...well I'll give advice whether they ask or not.

Well, I've gone on for far too long....I just love these kiddos of mine. I can't wait to see WHO they become. Take some time tonight to think of WHO you want your children to become.