Usually I try to make my Friday Confessions a mix of funny and crazy things I have done throughout the week. Just to help everyone feel better by hearing that I too, do these insane things. But this week, well today in particular, I have a very heavy heart. My mind is cloudy and pictures of what I want to say are coming through as if they were in a crystal ball. Not quite clear enough to help me form the words I want to say.
So here it is, my confession in all it's fuzzy glory-
I AM NOT PERFECT!
Shocking, right? But then again, I never claimed that I was perfect. So why did I spend more minutes than acceptable in my office crying today over the opinion, and I do mean opinion, of someone I don't even know? Why did I allow the words spoken to affect me so? Why did that person have to be so mean? Why couldn't they accept what I was saying and know my sincerity? Why couldn't that person understand that I had a moment of weakness and I have said my peace with the person that it directly affected?
And better yet. Why is it considered acceptable for people that don't even know me to group me into a category that I don't go in. Just because they think they know me. Just because there is a surface knowledge. There is no way they can know what events have made me who I am. I don't assume to know who they are. I just don't understand why people today want to create more drama than there already is in the world.
The simple fact of the matter is: I did the best I could. That's all anyone can ask of me or anyone for that matter. The best I could. And then I apologized that my best wasn't perfect, it wasn't good enough. I said sorry. Before even confronted....so why now does it need to be dredged up again?
What I didn't say was that I could say the same about you, person. That I too have "heard" things. I too, have an opinion even though I don't know you. But, I didn't call you and express my opinion of you. I didn't call and ruin your day. I didn't make you feel worthless for doing your best and it not being good enough. And I didn't cross the line into someone else's business that wasn't even my own. I didn't make idle threats and tell you how you should have handled things. But, if I had, I would have accepted your damn apology.